Shaken Not Stirred

Monday, August 30, 2004

Speech Check

I think that a class that should be created is a speech check! Not anything that would stifle a view point or an opinion. But one that would help people determine the difference between a true opinion and hurtful statements.

A few days ago, I saw in the news a story about a passenger suing Southwest Airlines for an embarassing comment made by a stewardess. The stewardess allegedly insinuated that the passenger was so overweight that she couldn't fit in one of the airline chairs. There is a way to handle such a situation without having to offend a paying customer. Had I been on the flight, I probably would have written a letter to the company concerning the issue. I know that some people can be sensitive, but if the comment made really affected the passenger enough to take it to court, then some serious damage was done.

I know how she feels. Recently I've gained some weight because of my sedentary situation. I'm on my butt for a good part of the day reading and reviewing. So I would estimate that I've eaten about 10 pounds worth of junkfood and it really shows. Since I'm only about 5'4", every little bit shows. And I know that I've gained weight, and all joking aside, it irks me that I have.

I ran into a family friend, he's actually my family's friend, not really mine. Well, not anymore as far as I'm concerned. He was out doing errands and we ran into each other. He asked how the studying was going and then said, "I can see you are stressed" while pointing to my abdomen area. Not only did he say this with the "big tummy" gesture, but he said it in front of my friends--whom none of have pointed out that I gained some weight. I was embarassed to say the least. Embarassed to the point that I went on the internet to find another miracle diet (you know like the Atkins or grapefruit diet). I even bought the book "The Zone". Almost fooled again into some new eating regimine that would melt the pounds away. However, I just added more time to my treadmill routine and then started using my bike again. I think the exercise will melt the pounds away more quickly and safely.

And then on Sunday, my cousins and I took her kids to this place in Charleston, West Virginia called Magic Island. They were having a fund raiser carnival type fiesta for children. I think one of the sponsors was REACH, an organization that teaches sex education and educates people about rape and sex crimes. Anyway, her kids went on this ride (the swing thing that has the swings going in circles). The guy running the ride asked us, "Are you people from China or something? I've never seen your kind around". I was like, "Have you never been past the mouth of the Kanawha river?". But being a little tired and holding my tongue, kept quiet while my cousin answered, "No, our ancestry is the Philippines". This guy then had a "thinking" look on his face. He then said, "You all live her now?". She answered yes to which he replied, "Nice country we got here." I wanted to say, "We have lived here all our lives. We love this country as much as you do". But of course kept quiet. Thank God the ride was over and we could take the kids away from there. What are some people taught? Have manners and just plain tolerance, understanding and good manners been pushed to the wayside? I should go to the REACH headquarters and say something. But I won't. It's not there fault that someone like that slipped by their screening process.

So I think my lesson for today is to watch what you say. And to just say something nice!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Live Like You Were Dying

One of my favorite songs by Tim McGraw is his new hit "Live Like You Were Dying". The message of the song is great! One should completely live! Think about it, most people if they got a second chance to live would completely embrace life. They would do all the things that they wanted to, but didn't because of certain fears. I know certain people who got second chances and are living life to the fullest.

I don't think however that one should be hanging over the grave in order to embrace life. Why can't most people just live life to the fullest, without having their own timespan threatened? Makes no sense to me. Although I should talk. I'm not one who has gone "2 point something seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu". But I do try to live with the thought in mind that something I say to someone may be my last words. So in that respect, I try to live like it's my last.

Anyway, if you get the chance, listen to this song. It's got a great message!

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

The Oprah Show

On the Oprah Show today the topic was transgender minded children. There was a five year old boy who had said he wanted his penis to fall off. Another 11 year old girl had started to live her life as a boy. The five year old boy was kept in a room in the back, while his parents discussed their anguish concerning their child's "abnormality". The 11 year-old girl, spoke openly with Oprah about how she felt living life as a male.

Oprah has a such a way of bringing issues into a realm, without being judgemental, without making them seem so left of center. The questions she asks are respectful and well thought out. They allow her guests to talk about their issues, without feeling like side-circus freak shows. The children on her show today spoke about something which I'm sure plague many children. Who else to be speak honestly and openly about emotions then honest children, who don't know how to "bend" the truth. They only know the truth.

The anguish that the 11 year-old girl showed as she explained how she felt was agonizing. It made me realize that life is fragile, but with the right environment can be made strong. It can be handled, even with all its turns and hurdles, if a person is given certain balances to remain steady. This child was given lots of support by her loving parents, the most critical stabilizing factor for a good future. They have taught her tolerance. In return, she'll also be tolerant.

It helped me to realize that I do want to work in the pediatric field, either as a psychiatrist or pediatrician. Who better to ensure a productive future than a healthy child? So I've decided to dedicate my life as a future physician to the children of America. For the last year, I've begun to define myself as a future physician. And hopefully I will be able to give to my patients, something they will definitely give to me--a sense of self.

Monday, August 23, 2004

Feels Like Today

While on the treadmill and tired of the news, I flipped to CMT and to my surprise saw Rascal Flatts new video "Feels Like Today". How awesome! This is my favorite all-time band EVER! Anyway, I'll be checking in with CMT more regularly to hopefully catch it again. Their next album is suppose to come out in September (I think Sept 28, 2004). Amazaon has it for around 18 dollars, pre-order. I'm going to check one of the record stores to see if they've got a pre-order special!

Okay enough about my favorite band, which I have overplayed. They were the first two albums that I downloaded into my iPod and they get a lot of playtime when I attempt to jog and got some play while I used my father's bike for the first time today. I'm definitely no real biker!

On some sadder news, I can't believe that the two young Christian missionaries were slayed in California. What is this world coming to? Lets say a short prayer for them!

Until another thought pops into my head!

Sunday, August 22, 2004

All You Need Is Love

While watching one of the news channels during my treadmill stint this weekend, on the blips that run along the bottom, it was reported that a Komodo Dragon fell to its death from a wall in a London zoo. The animal was reportedly trying to get to its mate.

Wow, how interesting is that? An animal so desperate for love that it would climb a wall, risking death just to see its mate again. Either desperate for company or else a little horney. Either way, it's a romantic story. A sweet one at best. I wonder if the animal knew it was risking life and limb to climb the wall, or was it just instinct for it to mate and therefore follow the scent of hormones?

Saturday, August 21, 2004

What's in a Name?

Recently, my friend Saritha explained to me that the title of my blog had some sort of meaning. She said that "shaken not stirred" represented what she saw in my personality. She said that she saw with all the confusion and frustration that surrounded my life, I was able to sit my ass down to study. I think I studied in order to escape all the confusion and frustration. It's easier to forget when you are thinking about something else.
Saritha said that she saw that despite being shaken, I was not stirred. Not my intentions for the title. It was in reference to my favorite drink the martini. And my favorite drink the martini, became my drink by accident. I thought the drink sophisticated because James Bond drank them. So when I ordered my first drink, I ordered a martini (not liking the taste at first, but becoming accustomed to it as time went by--much like I think people who like caviar fall into a "taste"). Anyway, I think I like the reference that Saritha made. I guess in a way she was right. I was able to shut the world out and study. I don't know how effective it all was. I guess we'll see in six weeks when I get my results. And I remained steadfast to my study schedule.
So this I will take as my new philosophy--I am shaken by all the circumstances that surround me, but I will not be stirred from my goals.
One more thing--as many martinis as I've had, I can't tell the difference between a shaken and stirred drink. Although theoretically I know it has something to do with the layering of the two different liquors that make up the drink.
Have a good day!

Friday, August 20, 2004

Wish Upon A Star

I was watching the Olympics last night--and I really wanted Patterson to win the gold! It was time for the Americans to bring home another gold medal. Although I loved Mary Lou Retton--she's from my homestate, we needed to bring home that medal. It's been way too long.
Did the Svellana chick get on anyone else's nerves? "I love being called a diva"! What? It wasn't meant to be a compliment like when they say Aretha Franklin--Diva. It's that annoying constipated look you have on your face before an event. Although she can hold her own, something about the way she did her moves looked funny or not right. Maybe it was because she was so skinny, almost cachetic.
Anyway, a little deviation there. While I was watching, I kept secretly hoping that the other players would mess up. I don't think that is right since this is the games of goodwill and uniting all the athletes of the world. I wasn't hoping for anyone to fall or get seriously injured. Although when the one little oriental girl took to the balance beam, the one who had had better scores than Patterson, I was like "please mess up". Not a good thing right? I should punish myself for such mean thoughts. Anyway, she did mess up on her dismount. She slipped and fell. I felt so bad for having wanted her to mess up so that Patterson could take the lead.
So congrats to Patterson for the gold! You did it on your merits, your own talents and your own determination and hard work! Congrats!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

The Pride

Wow, I can't believe how well Michael Phelps swims. He is amazing! He deserves all the medals he'll bring home from Greece. I like whenever he receives his medal and they play the national anthem and he mouths the words. Very cool.
I also admired the women's gymnastics team. They kept their spirits up even when they knew they had been beat. Good sportsmanship! Despite their scores, I felt they did well on the floor exercises. I didn't really see any mess-ups although the commentators saw them.
There is something about hearing the U.S.A. National Anthem at these Olympic games that gets me so veklempt (sp?) and all choked up!
God Bless America!

Monday, August 16, 2004

Past The Point of No Return

I just finished taking the USMLE on Friday. It was quite difficult, however had I studied more, could have been more do-able. I know that you can never study enough for it and everyone told me that I would feel this way. But I know that I should have studied more. I don't know how I feel about the exam, it makes me queasy and nervous even thinking about my performance.

My cousins and I went to see the "Phantom of the Opera" in Baltimore this weekend. It was quite a show. I had listened to the music before since my cousin Sue was such a big fan of "Les Miserables" and "Phantom of the Opera" before. So the music was familiar to me--she played it while we studied all thru undergrad. I don't mind Broadway shows, just cause I can tell it takes a lot of talent to perform in one and put it all together. However, my mind tends to wander somewhere during the course of the show, especially when two characters are singing at the same time, different things, in unison, but telling their own points of view. It gets really confusing, making me feel like I'm hearing conflicting voices in my head. Or was that left over anxiety from my Friday exam? Not sure. Anyway, one of the guys who sat a few rows in front of me, had a really good idea. He broke out a beer and Reese cups. Looked really good, that held my attention for a little while.

So now I study for another step of the USMLE. Will this ever end? I'm sure it will, as soon as I pass all these exams.

Give a yell out for my friend Mondeep who is now continuing her blog!

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Thank God for a Weekday?

Well the weekend has been over for two days now. One of the big things I was relieved about was the regular crew of Fox and Friends. Now why can't the weekend crew be just as entertaining without crossing that line? I mean Steve, Edie and Brian have a sense of humor, aren't uptight or detached from the world, but they don't embarass themselves by imitating the "accents" of their guests. Okay, enough, I don't want to think about it anymore. I just won't watch Fox and Friends on the weekend and will rely on Headline News to get me thru my treadmill stint.

Only two more days till I take my exam--well actually three, if you count the actual day of the exam. I'm extrememly nervous and irritable, tired and all the stuff that comes with anxiety. If there were a way to get pass all this I would. I think my buddy Omar was right--you will never really ever feel ready. And in retrospect, my having post-poned it for a month was good, at least for my self-confidence. I'm not sure if I crammed any more material into my head, then was already there. Saint (Ki-Ki) told me that I already knew it all, it was just a question of pulling on the right strings to make the answer come out. Anyway, we'll see.

On one hand I will be glad that it's over. On the other hand there will be six weeks of anxiety in waiting for the results.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

What An Accent

I was flipping between "Fox and Friends" and "Headline News" this morning while getting my treadmill time done. I never watched "Fox and Friends" during the weekend, it's usually during the week. The normal weekday trio was replaced by a different threesome. It was okay, except for the bit with Bow Wow--the famous rapper, actor, entrepeneur, who came on to promote his new movie.
During the interview, he had expressed some of his accomplishments which were incredible for an adolescent of only 17. He had a career in music, film and had started a clothing line. After he had talked about his accomplishments, the blonde "Fox and Friends" anchorman said, "You got it going on" and then did some sort of chorea-jerking arm move. I was completely floored and almost offended for Bow Wow. What was this anchorman thinking, who doesn't talk like this normally. Was he trying to gain acceptance or "fit in"? It's not junior high, you don't have to blend--it is morning news.
It reminded me of a story my friend Saint had told me about her first day of medical school. All the students were asked to introduce themselves. Saint said there was one guy who was walking around politely introducing himself to everyone. When he got to her, held his hand up in a high five position and said, "Wassup?". Okay, so much for having attained mega education.
The great thing about life in the U.S. is that it allows every person to be themselves. So people just be natural. You don't have to imitate to show acceptance. Just be yourself!

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Almost There

It's officially less than a week till I take my Step Two exam. Like I've mentioned before it falls on Friday the 13th. It's gotta be lucky right? Plus the fact that my niece and God-daughter Nikki Lee has her birthday on that day too. How much more luck can I have. I'm not superstitious, haven't cut any chicken's heads off and danced naked in the moonlight to ward off any bad luck. I've just put my best foot forward and I'm praying for the best--especially to St. Jude, the saint of impossible causes. I've always been an impossible cause, so to him I will turn!!!

My friend Mondeep, who has a blog hasn't written in awhile, so I don't feel so bad. She's very up-to-date and always has an entry. Of course she does have a better excuse than I do--she's traveling cross-country with her husband Josh (from San Francisco to New York). I think they should have already completed their trek.

My excuse is that I don't really have anything on my mind except this exam. And I don't want to bore you with those details---or the current frenzy that wreaks havoc in my head everytime I think about it. It's quite frightening! Anyway, I should have normal topics to talk about once I get this out of the way. Until then, please keep checking in on me from time to time. I promise to be better about keeping this up to date.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Long Time Gone

I know I haven't written anything in a long time. I don't have a valid excuse. I'm preparing for an exam, but I know that I can take time out to write a little something. The turth is, I don't have really anything to write about. The only thing on my mind are vignettes with clinical diseases and ways to manipulate these vignettes so that I get every angle. It's almost become an obsession to think about what they could possibly ask.

I talked to a friend the other night who had recently taken one of the steps. She told me that the vignettes would read along great, and she could make a prediction before reading the entire paragraph and then the question would hit her from left field..."what is the chromosome responsible for the signs and symptoms". She said it caused major stress! I can see why. I think I would go into melt-down.

So this is the reason that I have written. I don't want to bore anyone with the details of vignettes, questions, diseases, treatments, etc.

I'll write again soon.