Skinemax is not PORN

I watched a documentary this weekend about porn titled Pornucopia. It was on HBO and I think it's going to be a series about behind the scenes of porn flicks. This was the real porn stuff, not the belly bumping and fake penetrations of Skinemax (seriously can a chick sit on the belly button of a guy and actually give him an orgasm?).

Anyway, it was pretty funny to listen to the interviews of stars like Katie Morgan and Stormy. One of them wanted to prove that she wasn't dumber than the rock that she was fornicating on--so she went on a radio talk show and answered intellectual questions like "How many continents are there?" (she correctly answered the question, admitting that she sometimes forgot Antartica, but she remembered it that day). She proved that porn stars do have substance.

I am also left wondering if there is a correlation with swallowing ejaculate and the high pitched voices that many of these starlets have. They sound like Minnie Mouse on helium, not only in their squeals of pleasure voices, but also in their natural speaking tones. Maybe one of my medical school buddies can do research with this topic. Body fluids other than blood make me squeamish.

During one of the interviews they asked the stars about do's and don'ts. One star said she didn't like when a co-star put his finger in her anus. Ummm, you'll accept a throbbing organ in your bung-hole but not a finger? Hmmm, yes, you've got your priorities straight.

The best was their version of the Oscars. They had categories like best starlet, best girl on girl and of course best blow job. Some drag queen was the hostess and she was bitching cause they wanted her to cover up her fake boobs. Anyway, the hostess, I can't remember his real name, said that he amazed his friends because as a teenager, he would know when the actress changed hairstyles. Ummm, I don't think that was the point of the movie. But whatever, you watch salon secrets, I'm going to watch boobies bouncing and slapping faces.