Door To Door Water

Yesterday as I was leaving to do an errand, a man pulled up, got out of his car and started to walk towards mine. I thought he might need directions, so I got out of mine (he was already on the driveway) to see what he needed.

He then said "Are people in this neighborhood complaining about the water?"
I didn't understand what he meant by that and I guess due my perplexed look--I must have had the expression of a person having mini-strokes--he repeated himself.

"Are people saying the water taste bad and when you take a bath you have rashes on your skin?"

I looked at my arms and then realized that this man was going to attempt to sell something--skin products, beauty products, something like that. Why the hell was he asking about the smell of the water and then saying the water was putting rashes on my skin?

I very politely told him that I was on my way out and I had errands to do. He asked if there was anyone else in the house that he could speak to. REDFLAG!!!! Of course my paranoid mind thought, he now wants to rob me blind while I'm away.

"My wife is asleep and I don't think she would appreciate being woken up to hear a sales pitch." Lie, big lie, but I had to make him think someone was in the house.

He then said, "My testing technique will only take thirty minutes I just want to test your water. Let's go inside and see."

He kept looking into the garage at the water heater. I then repeated that I had no time for this and could he just go on his way.

He then said, "But you were the lucky person I stummbled upon, none of your neighbors appear to be home."

I explained well yeah, but A)I don't have time B)I'm really not that interested C) It's a brand spanking new house, new neighborhood, our water filtration system is great, the water doesn't smell nor have I gotten any rashes and I was already losing my patience.

He then said, "Okay, is there a beter time for me to come back?"

I told him "NEVER!"

He then asked about Saturdays or the evenings, was there a number he could call to check for a better time. I told him he was never to trespass on my property again.

He said, "Okay, do any of your neighbors speak Spanish?"

I told him that I didn't ask any of them. And with that got in my car, asked him to leave my property and took off. I didn't really feel uneasy about him breaking in because of the alarm system.

In my rearview mirror I saw him throwing a pitch to an unsuspecting neighbor who came out to get her mail.