Shaken Not Stirred

Monday, April 17, 2006

Be My Friend

There has been a recent surge of sites that people can join to either meet people or to get reaquainted with old friends. Every now and then I will get an email from an old acquaintance who had my email, but never used it for anything but forwarding jokes/Chicken Soup for the Soul stories/and an occasional 'how you doin', asking me to join a site like Hi5, Friendster, Myspace or someother cyberspace rolodex. I joined a couple: Friendster and Myspace, because at first it seemed interesting, but now is just a pain. For instance, on my one cyber rolodex, it started out as a way to keep in touch with certain people, but I've realized is just a popularity contest for other people. I have friends of friends, and neighbos of friends asking me add them to my list. I don't even know these people!!! And for some reason they want me on their list.

I added some of them in the past thinking they would become an asset or some sort of networking contact, but nope, once I added them, nothing became of it. I never heard from any of them again.

I have some friends who have like thousands of people on their friend's list. They just keep adding people that see their profiles on-line and ask to be part of their collection of "friends". One of the sites even has a profile rating, based on your picture, your status and the amount of person's who check out your profile. How damaging could this be to some high school adolescent going thru the pubertal changes or a high school misfit who wants to meet friends outside their already terrible social life. They come to a place that offers some anomininity, only to be rejected based on their profile/pic/bio.

One of my friends was cyberstalked by a person on her list. Nevermind that she posted pictures of herself in a bikini. I wondered why she would do something like that, but her profile became one of those highly rated and she just kept adding people for the sake of adding them. She was soon getting proposals from guys that had picture perfect profiles that claimed these coiffed, buffed, fluffed and puffed men were models. My thoughts were, if they looked like that, they certainly wouldn't need a site to sell themselves. They would just have to walk into any people crowded venue and begin the pick-up lines.

I'm wondering how long the fad of friendship sites is going to last. And who takes the time to maintain these sites. For now, my rolodex has remained pretty dormant. I must not have an interesting enough profile to buzz others my way. But then again, I've got my real tangible friends, who I can just reach out and touch anytime I want to.

P.S. And then there is that darn


  • Don't get me started on this--as you know, I was cyberstalked on a couple of sites. I don't know what I was thinking by revealing myself (w/out a bikini) to so many strangers. Once again, isolation makes people do bizzare things. And don't get me started on those dating sites! Virtual insanity....
    Hope you had a nice Easter!

    By Anonymous Babette, at 11:43 AM  

  • The Internet does make people do foolish things, including revealing very identifiable information one wouldn't tell a stranger on the street.

    One only has to listen to the news or read the papers to see how predators can and will troll sites such as those you mentioned.

    Keep it cool and be safe!

    By Blogger Tea and Books, etc, at 12:22 PM  

  • Hey, happy easter Angel!

    By Blogger sabatkes, at 1:26 PM  

  • SO funny that you mentioned this. I belong to 2 of those friend sites...and never go on them unless someone sends me a message. But then, even still, its a rarity, as I talk to my friends daily.

    Just today, I got a message on one of those friend things, from someone I went to highschool with, and havent spoken to him in 10 years. It was a nice surprise, seeing as we lost touch long ago...but other than that, I loathe these sites.

    By Blogger Princess Pessimism, at 2:23 PM  

  • I've never used the Internet to make friends. I use the Internet to gain valuable people assets, in an artificial and temporary way.

    By Blogger Gyrobo, at 2:36 PM  

  • I don't like the social networking that becomes a popularity contest. If you're not my friend, I ain't addin ya!

    By Blogger Luke, at 3:36 PM  

  • i've had guys wanting to be added on my friends list- complete strangers. i guess its like hanging out at the cyber bar- you're going to see old friends that you haven't seen, prolly don't want to see and be asked out by preverted drunk men. what a great world we live in. :)

    By Blogger vani, at 5:21 PM  

  • Preach it, Angel...=) I've gotten those invites on MySpace, too, and I just roll my eyes.

    As far as reuniting with old friends, I have found with a lot of them, they should have just stayed in my past =)

    By Blogger the_mrs, at 5:36 PM  

  • "Classmates...Can you believe they got married!?!"


    By Blogger Tai, at 5:44 PM  

  • The myspace thing...some of those people have thousands of friends!
    It is fun to a point, but you do have to be careful about some of those strange people out there. (I guess you do here too).

    By Blogger Lee Ann, at 11:07 PM  

  • lol, well, I am glad I am not alone in not getting the point of the whole thing.

    By Blogger Emily, at 11:13 PM  

  • " coiffed, fluffed, buffed, puffed" - hahahah...that was hilarious! If I saw a guy that was coiffed and fluffed I'd probably run... :)

    Seriously though, I loathe the way people act when you DON'T have a myspace account. I have a couple of people that have almost scoffed at me like, "WHAT? Why on earth wouldn't you have a myspace account? That's like... unAmerican." Blech... get over it. It is a huge popularity contest and I don't want any part of it.

    By Blogger LostInTX, at 5:37 AM  

  • I joined My Space for the same purpose, (to reunite w/ old buddies) and I am recieving some offensive friend/messages from dudes. The crazy thing is they all live within 10 miles of me.

    By Blogger Cari, at 7:59 AM  

  • I also have myspace, but I really only put people that I usually talk to or know or feel like adding. I have had friend requests like that. I just politely reject them and tell them that I only add them If I know who they are or like their band. I don't really care too much what people think of me on there, it's only for keeping in touch with people I want to.

    By Blogger Drywall Mom, at 8:44 AM  

  • I don't have a myspace account either. Blogger's enough.

    By Blogger Walter, at 3:13 PM  

  • Classmates is the original. I wonder how many people hooked up with old flames via Classmates.

    By Blogger The Phoenix, at 4:04 PM  

  • I didn't need When I moved back to Austin (10 years after leaving), I moved next door to a girl I went to High school with who was dating my high school boyfriend's friend. Confusing I know.. so that's how my ex from high school and I became friend again. It's nuts... and a small world, after all.

    By Blogger LostInTX, at 6:41 PM  

  • OK, so then are we friends or not? Because I have been telling all of my friends that you and I are best buddies. So, you're saying now we ain't? Bbbuttt??? I thought we were pals? Ugh. Nobody likes me. I knew it. That's it, I'm getting a myspace!

    By Blogger NaughtyVoyeur, at 9:17 PM  

  • I hear ya. I almost dont give out any information on any website or any place unless I have a very necessary reason to do so


    By Blogger True Blue Guy, at 11:13 PM  

  • I agree with you Angel, I've always thought that myspace was a glorified popularity contest and refused to sign up.

    I suppose it would be even worse if you were a female, since guys would inundate you with requests to be your "friend." (As a few commenters have already observed.)

    Now it seems that there's a new phenomenom where people are using myspace as a dating tool. I think it's a bad idea, but people are still giving it a try.

    Hey, what do I know? My methods don't seem to be all that productive either. Lol.

    By Blogger Grant, at 12:12 AM  

  • I agree those sites are a pain in the ass..I assume I am too old for it (over 30)...
    Blogger is all I need :)

    By Blogger Jacquie, at 1:38 AM  

  • Yeah, I heard about this one girl from Floida State who has 16,000 facebook friend. Jenn somethingorother.

    Most semi-serious blogger i know hate these sites, myself included. I'm not sure why. That being said, every one of them I know has a profile on at least one of the. Hypocrites

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:03 PM  

  • bikini? so that's what i should
    do - wear a bikini?

    By Blogger Maddy, at 11:33 PM  

  • Ok the bikini is the key then... ;-)

    By Blogger missy, at 2:40 AM  

  • Well, Angel. I did get re-acquanited with you 19 years later via Friendster, so maybe they aren't all that bad!

    Dave I

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:58 PM  

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