Shaken Not Stirred

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Mirror, Mirror on The Wall

While driving today, I heard Karen Carpenter's "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". I've heard her voice described as hauntingly beautiful. They say you can hear her pain/agony in her voice. I just hear it as depressing. Anyway, it made me think about anorexia nervosa. It's a disease that plagues many young females and a few males. Before I had taken psychiatry class, I remember thinking it wasn't real, that these girls were just being stubborn and all you needed to do was put a Pizza Hut Meat Lovers pan crust pizza in front of them and they would cave. I mean who could resist Pizza Hut's buttery crust?

I remember first talking about it in psychiatry class. Our professor was a beautiful, well dressed, physician, who was also a psychiatrist. She talked about the disease with some gusto. And she talked about how delicate the self-esteem of many of these patients were. Motivated by her beauty (and not wanting to bomb her exam--you know so she wouldn't think I was a dummy), I studied these personality disorders too. I started to see it as a personality defect, rather than something that could be cured by sliding some food under the noses of the patients. It was their egos, their self-images that we were dealing with and not their stubborn not wanting to eat stance.

Okay, I am getting to a point. Later on in my Kaplan review class, a different professor told us that we have to watch what we say to certain loved ones. The people who hold us in high regard. He said we (males) as boyfriends, husbands and fathers had to watch how we projected our images of what is beautiful to our wives, girlfriends, and daughters. His speech was hilarious--he told us things like "don't cop a feel when your wife/girlfriend wants to be held because they were upset".

The point I'm trying to make--I know I ramble: is that a person's perception is sometimes shaped by what people say to us. I've posted in the past how working out has not done anything for me. That I still feel somewhat overweight and chunky. Today at the gym, some chick told me that she could tell us I was losing weight. Of course she told me as I was stepping off the weighing scale (making me self-conscious). She said that she could tell that I was working hard to lose the weight.

Later, while changing in the locker room, I looked in the mirror. And my image was replaced by a somewhat thinner me. I guess that what I see, or what I've been looking at is not what others are seeing.

Okay, I'm waiting for "South Park" and so I rambled a little and I'm unsure how to tie all this together. The idea was there while I was on the treadmill, but once again, I forgot how I was going to post this. Sorry!!


  • Thinking about mental illness is such a tough thing to wrap your head around if you have not experienced it. It is pretty scary stuff.

    By Blogger Scott, at 11:05 PM  

  • My wife is a big Carpenters fan, and we've got their Christmas album, so I've been hearing that a lot lately too. I've never heard anyone say that you can hear her pain and agony in her voice. I think that's an interesting take, and most likely a case of people hearing what they want to hear. I think she did have a very good voice, surprisingly deep for such a petite frame... Anyway, if it helps you not be so depressed when listening to her sing, just remember that singing was her release, and she was probably never happier than when she was singing those songs. If anything her voice was full of joy.

    Wow, that is the second sappy comment I've left here. That's not like me.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:00 AM  

  • Karen Carpenter has the most pure vocals EVER. Truly angelic.

    There's also a biological/genetic link with eating disorders. I'm sure there's a ton of outside influences too, like a little girl watching Mommy try to look thinner in a mirror.

    But from what I've seen, there's some biology involved that makes certain people more succeptible to eating disorders and body image issues as well.

    By Blogger The Phoenix, at 10:35 AM  

  • I think everyone will get your point which indeed is a good one.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:23 PM  

  • i think what your saying, is that be careful what you say to someone about things they don't have control over, because you don't know what sort of personality disorder you might be helping to shape for their future......????

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:35 PM  

  • i got it angel :}
    when i was younger I had some friends who suffered through main person comes up in my mind was a tough time!!...I saw her go through sooo much.I thought it was more about being vain...but no! then later down the road...i suffered through my own kind of thing...and I realized it's alot deeper then that.

    By Blogger Cari, at 8:41 AM  

  • This may, in fact, be the only blog post today linking Karen Carpenter, Kaplan review, and South Park.

    -- david

    By Blogger David Amulet, at 5:02 PM  

  • Nicole Richie = Scary!

    Hopefully there are hot chicks at your gym, that helps me stay longer.

    By Blogger Big Ben, at 8:07 PM  

  • A friend of mine died from complications from this disease. It is a sad thing for all of those that she loved. What is truly sad is the websites that promote and enable the victims of this illness.

    By Blogger :P fuzzbox, at 8:36 PM  

  • Gotcha!

    By Anonymous Babette, at 10:31 AM  

  • We are absolutely a manifestation of all the negative and positive influences in our lives. Everything we do and are, has some relevance to some previous experience. We are psychological and emotional creatures and I can think of many personal experiences to back this up. We do need to be mindful of what and how we say things, and always remember that compassion can heal a lot of things.

    By Blogger epicurist, at 1:59 PM  

  • you know what? i have a big ass, and some size C boobs. i like them. i'm curvy. and too all the anorexics i say "eat your heart out"...

    oops..was that in bad 'taste"?

    By Blogger Badoozie, at 4:17 PM  

  • can i say i could hug and kiss you for such an insightful amazing post??!! :)


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:42 PM  

  • I was listening to the Carpenter's the other day and thought the same thing. Haven't been by in awhile, Angel. Glad you're doing well!

    By Blogger Cathy, at 8:33 AM  

  • I can tell you that I myself, have contemplated on going in that direction sometimes and I have to tell myself to not do it. I have always had a body image problem. Since I was a kid, my mom constantly told me how my sister was so beautiful and that I was the kid with the round face. I was underweight until I turned 15. How mean is that. My sister is thinner than I am but I was always told from them that she was the more beautiful one, smart one and had better friends. It really did some damage on my self esteem. She still does it to this day. Even if I lost 50lbs and had plastic surgury to get rid of all the things that having kids do to a person today, I still think that I wouldn't be happy with myself. I am constantly fighting it every day and I probably will for a long time. It is real and I wish I didn't have to deal with it but then again, who doesn't?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:52 AM  

  • Serious thinking before an episode of South Park? ;)


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:03 PM  

  • My brother is a Forensic Psychiatrist. He used to be specialized in Child Psychiatry and dealt with a lot of bulimia and anorexia. It is so sad, because they still have issues even once they are eating normal again.

    By Blogger Lee Ann, at 9:38 PM  

  • I get what you are trying to say, Angel !!
    Hope you are having a great week.
    Take care, Meow
    PS. I love the Carpenters !!

    By Blogger Meow, at 4:18 AM  

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