Meet Me At The Flagpole

A few years ago, I lost one of my best friends. I may have done something to instigate it and could have done something to prevent it from happening. To this day, I wonder how he is doing.

My buddy started dating a pretty snobby girl. She was pretty popular on campus, many people knew who she was and liked her. I didn't have any problems with her and in fact got along with her also. I knew she was pretty overbearing with my buddy, but what girlfriend didn't tell their boyfriends when to eat, what to eat and how to eat it? Just a part of making sure the boat didn't rock, isn't it?

One day, I took a joke too far. I can't remember exactly what the joke was, how it started and what I said. All I remember was she got pretty ticked at me. She ended up yelling and I'm sure crying. I tried to apologize but she told me to "go to hell". Her friends told me to let her cool down and everything would be alright in an hour.

A couple hours later I was walking across campus when I saw my buddy and his girlfriend walking my way. They looked like they were arguing. She was yelling and he was cowering. When they got to where I was, my buddy started yelling at me. He told me that I was way out of line and to apologize. I apologized again and offered a hug, which was refused and then a handshake, which was smacked. She started yelling at my buddy again to "do something"!!!

He then, in an old west fashion put up his dukes. He put up his dukes! By this time her shrill voice and his superhero stance had attracted some attention. He never swung, just stood there. I think he was waiting for my move. I was too shocked to move, so I didn't. My buddy eventually put down his dukes and sat on the ground. His girlfriend called him a shit and walked away. Another buddy (who had witnessed the argument from the teasing of the girl to the dukes), took me by the arm and said something about leaving the pathetic asshole alone.

My buddy eventually apologized. I sort of accepted, but saw him in a different light. Slowly, he stopped coming to our parties and even outings. And then a year later he asked my roommate if he could use our apartment to talk to everyone. He and his girlfriend had broken up and he needed to vent.

When he came to my apartment and everyone had a beer in hand, he started to talk. He apologized for his past behavior (shunning us, forgetting birthdays, never-ever coming around)and said something about being glad to have friends. No one said anything. Most of our friends were uncomfortable by his tears and either watched ESPN or played with the chips/dip. When his sobbing became unbearable, he left the room. No one followed him. Someone uttered WTF? Someone else suggested I go and get him since I was his friend to begin with. I stayed in my seat and played with the foam in my beer.

My buddy again slowly removed himself from our group. No one asked him to come out with us, unless they had bumped into him on campus. The others asked me how he was doing and I would shrug my shoulders. To this day, I do wonder how he's doing. He was one of the people I was duped into joining Classmates.com to find. That's a whole different post--the Classmates.com fiasco.