Shaken Not Stirred

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Sunglasses Dammit

I went to the mall and while waiting for someone to finish using the bathroom, I was people watching. Nope, not watching in the bathroom--that would be too eerie weird and if I wanted to watch other penises using the bathroom, I would just watch my own. Not into other people's penises, not even into my own. Anyway, the balcony that leads to the bathroom overlooks a couryard with various escalators which take people to separate floors. On one particular escalator there was a really, really cute girl wearing butt hugging shorts (the kind that hugs the gluts so nicely you can bounce a quarter on them) and a tank top. She was also tone, not scary muscular butch tone, but ripple tone--if you oiled her, the muscles boundaries would be defined. She had the Angela Jolie Lara Croft tone.
As this being ascended the escalator, I watched as she used her toned thighs carry her up the stairs and as my eyes made their way up the rest of her body, I turned beet red because when I got to her face, I realized she was watching me watch her. She had a look that said, "use your phone cam to take a picture FREAK!!!". I tried to do one of those, I was scanning the whole area look, but it was too late. My five minute scan of her legs was already noticed. My buddy came out of the bathroom--I was like WTF took you so long?
We went to look for the "Scrubs" third season DVD collection. Yes, I'm a "Scrubs" freak--I've been watching it so often, I've almost memorized the lines as well as I have the entire 10 seasons of "Friends". And who is looking at "Arrested Developement" DVD's? The girl in the BCBG short shorts. She shot me a look, brought her DVDs to the cashier, paid and left.
My buddy said, "Do you know her?"
I shook my head and thought, only the way Judge Reinhold knew Phoebe Cates in that famous Fast Times at Ridgemont High scene. And I wasn't even doing what he did. Well maybe later....


  • You shouldn't feel embarassed. If she's wearing shorts like that out in public and her legs are that nice, and she isn't expecting men to be looking at them, then she's an idiot. :-)

    "Oh, these men are such pigs. Hang on, while I adjust my tube top. Hey, do these high heels go with these daisy duke shorts?"

    By Blogger Stephen Renico, at 10:48 PM  

  • I agree with Stephen. The things girls wear as fashion these days.. how can a guy not look?

    It's a stupid double standard where a girl parades every curve she has, yet gets angry because guys notice her curves.

    You should have smiled, and called out "It's OK, I'm a doctor!"

    Hey! You are the only guy I know who could pull that line off!

    By Blogger blackcrag, at 3:13 AM  

  • My suggestion to you is mirrored shades! You won't get caught looking. Unless you are drooling.

    By Blogger Ranea, at 4:58 AM  

  • She was secretly loving the attention or she would be wearing a moo-moo.

    By Blogger :P fuzzbox, at 11:23 AM  

  • tsk tsk tsk !!! oh angel babe....

    got confused, but were you trying to take a picture of her on your cell ??? cuz that's just not right man !!!

    learn to be more subtle.. i do it all the time, when i look at hot boys.. but i learned to be not so obvious....

    you too cute !

    By Blogger madame P, at 11:32 AM  

  • Angel i thought you had better
    control over human
    Hey i like scrubs too.
    Have a great weekend!

    By Blogger michele, at 1:38 PM  

  • You should've started to drool and acting like Rainman. Maybe she would've thought you're "special" and took pity on you.

    By Blogger The Phoenix, at 1:52 PM  

  • I'm going to be in town the week of the 26th. Is that when you're leaving for Vegas?

    By Blogger The Phoenix, at 1:53 PM  

  • Nice that you can appreciate the female form!

    By Anonymous Babette, at 2:02 PM  

  • Busted!!! lol

    I love Scrubs, just never remember when it's on.

    And any guys that has all the Friends seasons on DVD is a winner in my book ;)

    By Blogger the_mrs, at 4:11 PM  

  • i never figure why chicks get peeved when guys check them out.
    and i'm a chick

    it's all a me on this one. they would be more peeved if ya didn't check them out ;)

    By Blogger Leila, at 5:36 PM  

  • That is funny-though I don't think there was any possible way to salvage the situation once she caughht you looking. If she is wearing shorts like that, then she shouldn't mind the extra attention. ;-)

    By Blogger Etchen, at 3:09 PM  

  • you have such interesting bathroom experiences...i wanna go where you go...

    By Blogger LBseahag, at 8:15 PM  

  • If a girl resembles Lara Croft, I couldn't help staring either.

    Possibly not in the same way. But all the same, some people are just plain distracting.

    By Blogger Spider Girl, at 12:22 AM  

  • ah summer!

    By Blogger Chloe, at 11:23 AM  

  • if she doesn't want men looking at her legs and ass, then she should cover them up. just look, and don't worry about it.

    looks like everyone is pretty much in agreement here. thats nice. i think that you should have taken a picture. just get that camera out and point it right at her, then she'll be nice and freaked out, thinking you'll be waiting for her in the parking garage. maybe she'll go home, and put on some weight.

    i bet when she gets to be my age, she'll wish for those good old days when men stared. cause all it's gonna take to get rid of those thighs is a kid or two, and poof, instand cellulite, and stretch marks.

    whats REALLY gross is when women parade around in revealing clothes, with OUT the body to match it. like the puss gut hanging out over the top of the low rise jeans, or the older lady with stretch marked belly complete with bellybutton ring. ICK

    By Blogger Badoozie, at 11:26 AM  

  • HAHAH, I am sure she liked it, :}

    By Blogger Cari, at 1:38 PM  

  • LOL!!! LOVE THAT. times is my favorite 80s movie, that made me cry laughing.

    By Blogger Princess Pessimism, at 5:37 PM  

  • embarassment needed...she should have been flattered or more covered up.

    By Blogger Chick, at 1:20 AM  

  • spring fever - in summer?

    cute man.

    By Blogger Maddy, at 1:52 AM  

  • there should be no problem with you looking at her, Angel - I'm sure that she was really quite flattered.

    By Blogger ziggystardust73, at 7:59 AM  

  • Nice. In my mind, I'm combining the Fast Times scene with Corey Hart's Sunglasses at Night.

    Bizarre, these thoughts of mine.

    -- david

    By Blogger David Amulet, at 9:03 PM  

  • You know, as annoyed as she may have looked, she would have been more annoyed if noone looked at her. She obviously knows she looks good, so don't feel bad, you were just doing what comes natural, right?

    By Blogger Lee Ann, at 9:12 PM  

  • LMFAO!!!! i've been caught staring at peoples too, i like people watching.
    oddly enough i don't really care for penis watching. out of all bady parts, male and female, the penis has got to be the oddest looking of them all.

    ummm, i was going to say more re penis's, but that will be all.

    carry on


    By Blogger mollymcmommy, at 4:41 PM  

  • wait don't carry on

    meant body, not bady LOL!

    now you can carry on


    By Blogger mollymcmommy, at 4:44 PM  

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