Shaken Not Stirred

Friday, May 21, 2004

American Idiots

I watched a special that American Idol had last night. It was mainly some of the memorable auditions. I can't believe that some of these people are actually trying out. Are they joking? I have to agree with Simon when he said that he can't believe that these people have turned up. He went on to say that he believes most of them are there to get on television and have their two minutes of fame.

It does baffle me that at this junction of the show, it's third season, people still audition. They've seen what kind of tongue lashing Simon Cowell can give. I'm sure they have had friends tell them that they are tone deaf. And please, what is with the spastic chorea? Not dancing. I've seen better chicken dances at drunken wedding receptions. There was one guy, bless his heart, who cried after the audition. He couldn't sing (I mean well, he wasn't tone deaf). And he was tearing into the camera during the after-interview. He said that he was going to try out again next year, fighting the choking sobs. He may not have been so memorable had he not showed Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson and Simon what made him stand apart from the rest of the contestants. His other talent? Some trick where he could make his six-pack abs jiggle or something. What the hell? Why on God's green earth, would anyone incorporate some Abs of Steel maneuver into their singing act? Well, maybe he can provide music to some Tae Bo Abs update DVD. It will be better than the organ music.

I can't believe what some people will do for that five minute shot of fame. While I was taking the review in Rutherford, on the local news, there was some guy who wanted to get on The Apprentice, so he stood outside Trump Towers, just handing out his resume to anyone who would take it. I'm not sure what he thought he was going to achieve. In fact I think he provided more litter than inspiration or attention. He got his three minute news segment. I don't think Donald would choose someone like that. However, he did consider hiring Sam, that is after Sam paid him to. Fame whores!

And then there is the Bachelor. This show just makes it permissible for one person to sleep with sixteen. This is perfectly acceptable as long as he is still making his decision. What it is basically is consensual polygamy. I can't believe that some of these girls bawl and say they had a connection. "Last night we had such a connection. He said things to me that no one else has ever said, made me feel special". Honey, the only connection you have is a shared penis with sixteen other willing participants. You just didn't swallow enough or maybe your lips were chapped. He didn't have enough time to reject you for a real reason. It's as superficial as your application to join the show.

To close, I obviously watch enough of these shows to comment. And it's more than obvious that I'm addicted to reality television. It was said that reality is weirder than fiction.


Post a Comment

<< Home