Shaken Not Stirred

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Can I UPS This?

What can be said about mail-order brides? On the news tonight was a story that concerned the downfalls of marrying one these catalogue beauties (not!). The newscaster said that often many men are afraid to speak out about some the sinister behavior of these C.O.D. stamped packages because they were embarassed about how they obtained them in the first place. Well buddy, looks to me like you bought a hooker, only the price you paid was YOUR LIFE!!! What are some of these guys thinking. I know, I know, it's the 90's, many people meet their significant other on-line. We've got so many on-line dating services that if they didn't serve alcohol, most bars would have closed down by now. However, to go to sites that offer brides for a price?

One guy was complaining because he found out that he was being used for his visa. He came home one day and all traces of her was gone. He said that he got her over here on a fiancee visa (one that allows the girl to come into the U.S. providing that a marriage take place within 90 days). He became a little suspicious when she insisted that they get married right away. But he said that he thought they were in love. He was convinced that this was the love of his life. He had finally found someone (I would insert a Barry Manilow tune here, but I don't know how and I don't think that Mr. Shife would like it very much). And just as soon as the romance had started, the carpet had been literally pulled from underneath his feet and she was gone.

On the flip side, there are also stories about the poor girls being abused. I read a story in either People or Newsweek about an Asian bride being brutally murdered by her husband. I can't remember all the details but the guy was able to hide it for quite awhile because she had no family here. There was no one to check up on it and no one to called the authorities. He was finally caught and jailed.

Back to the idiocy of mail order brides. While I was in school abroad, I remember studying in the school lobby and hearing some guy speaking English to the school guard. I looked up to see a blonde haired blue eyed guy. The guard wouldn't let him onto school grounds so he started shouting "Does anyone know blah-blah-blah"? Some of the other students ignored him (or didn't understand him-take your pick). However, me and the other American students quite intrigued walked over to the gate that separated us from the streets. We asked him who he was looking for and he was thankful that someone was paying attention to him.

This was our conversation (remember this happened a few years ago and I'm remembering it as best as I can--plus it's Fat Tuesday night and I've had some Coronas, pizza and chips).

Groom-to-be: "Oh thank God, other Americans. Do you guys know blah-blah-blah".
Mark: "Nope, should we?"
Groom-to-be: "Yes, she's a medical student here at this school"
Me: "What year? We're in second"
Groom-to-be: "Third."
Ed: "I don't think so. We pretty much know all the other Americans in this school".
Groom-to-be: "She isn't. She's one of them".
Me: "It's a small school. Let me ask one of the third years" I walk away to a classroom within.
Me: "No one has ever heard of her. Are you sure it's this school? There are two others in this city"--yelling from within a hallway--disturbing other students who all say in their language 'there's that loud American again'
Groom-to-be: "Nope it's this school, see here's her letter".
Ed: "Yeah, that's this school but no one has heard of her"
Groom-to-be: "That's impossible, I've sent her money for tuition for the last three years. We got engaged a few months ago. I sent her a ring. She said 'yes'"
Mark: "And yet you've never met?"
Groom-to-be: "On the phone and web cam. We would chat for hours. How can I find her?"
Me: "What's the bitch's address?"
Groom-to-be: "I sent the money Western Union. I sent gifts to a postal box".
Mark: "Yeah, you're fucked"
Me: "Cash? You didn't send the money to this school? You're fucked"
Groom-to-be: "My family is waiting back in the hotel. I've gotta tell them"

And so we rode in a taxi back with him. Dropped him off at the entrance. I wonder what happened inside. I don't think he ever found her because we told him to come back to the school if he did. The guard said he never came back.
I don't know what the point to my story was. I really was going somewhere, however I think the Corona took me on a different path.


  • I have studied some of the new regulations for immigrants (as I am one) - The DHS/USCIS is now taking controls to verify that this doesn't happen too often.

    Apparently they don't do a very good job of it but rather catch the innocent ones

    A friend of mine from India was stopped at SFO and asked to 'prove' she was a scientist. She was pretty looking and they somehow got the opinion that she was here for prostitution.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:40 AM  

  • Such a fascinating story.
    I remember watching a British movie with Nicole Kidman, in which she was pretending to be a mail-order bride from rural Russia.
    One day she started speaking English, gagged and tied him up and took all his money.

    By Blogger Wriju, at 12:49 AM  

  • Goodness me! I guess one can only feel pity for him. Really, what was he thinking??

    By Blogger missy, at 2:55 AM  

  • missy... perhaps he was thinking he could get his rocks off with some pretty girl who'd flirted outrageously on webcam with him in order to fool him!

    Such a loser. Sorry, I feel no pity for people like that because he was STUPID. I mean, the girl was a scam but he was an idiot.

    By Blogger ziggystardust73, at 4:35 AM  

  • Classic case of looking for love in all the wrong places. Sad but true I am sure there are MANY people like that. I feel sorry for him in a way, I mean I know he could have been smarter in this situation...but I guess he was thinking with his heart...and not his brain...

    By Blogger Cari, at 8:39 AM  

  • In a way, I don't feel sorry for him just b/c he didn't even meet her before they got engaged. People find ways of ripping people off all the time. As for his broken heart, that was just wrong.

    By Blogger Drywall Mom, at 8:54 AM  

  • Well, that is depressing.
    Poor fellow with his
    third year fiance. Jeepers.


    By Blogger Maddy, at 9:43 AM  

  • MMMMM Corona.

    It's a tragic story. People are so desperate that they do anything to "find love."

    By Blogger The Phoenix, at 10:17 AM  

  • Yikes. That is terrible. I am so glad I believe in the concept of knowing more about them before going out on a limb for such a serious commitment.

    *grin* Then again, that isn't working out either. So, tell me, about these mail order brides...

    By Blogger Grant, at 10:33 AM  

  • To paraphrase P.T.Barnum, 'There's a sucker born every minute.'

    By Blogger :P fuzzbox, at 11:03 AM  

  • Best to read all ingredients before buying. Feel sorry for him--there are plenty of naive people out there. Guilty as charged!

    By Anonymous Babette, at 11:36 AM  

  • It's awful.
    I know an older man that got duped...except he thought he had a baby daughter by her, too.

    Turned out it was the same sad tale, and not his baby.

    By Blogger Tai, at 2:02 PM  

  • You know what they say:

    "The point of your life may be only to serve as a warning to others."

    By Blogger Gyrobo, at 3:48 PM  

  • Wow. Ordering anything off the internet is dicey at best, but your wife? There are plenty of desparate women out there. Unfortunately, many of them speak English.

    By Blogger White Dade, at 4:47 PM  

  • Wow, what a sad story. On one hand I feel bad for the guy being dupoed liek that but at the same time, just how much of an idiot do you have to be to fall for a scheme like that?
    Now I want a Corona, too bad it's Ash Wednesday! ;-(

    By Blogger Etchen, at 5:01 PM  

  • i used to work with a lady who married hispanic men for the "visa"...poor guys must of been desperate, cuz this woman was a heffa!!! lol

    By Blogger vani, at 6:51 PM  

  • Wow, that is amazing! I cannot imagine ordering a groom!

    By Blogger Lee Ann, at 7:39 PM  

  • angel, don't you mean the 00s instead of the 90s?

    have you ever seen a mail order bride catalog? they are very scary. it's big in the Philippines.

    By Blogger Anhoni Patel, at 7:49 PM  

  • This crap pisses me off and I think it should be outlawed. What ARE people thinking when they do this, anyway? My uncle actually did it and to make things worse, he flew her here from Russia and arranged a huge wedding the week before mine (so some of the out of town guests that came to his just dropped off a gift instead of coming back for mine.) It was an all around shady deal. I was so glad when she left him. He deserved it, though it shouldn't have happened in the first damn place.

    By Blogger ***Double_Oh_No***, at 10:26 PM  

  • well, your point is that people who meet and marry on line are taking a huge chance. why can't these people find someone in their own area. what the heck is going on. maybe they are just weird, and can't find anyone else. all i have to say , is i've known more than a few people who married someone they met online, and it DID NOT WORK. k. enough said

    By Blogger Badoozie, at 11:18 PM  

  • Ticharu ,over on his blog, reported he's got several women emailing him from Russia. Trying to get married!

    By Blogger sabatkes, at 11:46 PM  

  • Why not just get on a stupid plane and meet a forein wife somewhere? It seems easier that shopping for them online!

    By Blogger slopmaster, at 2:05 AM  

  • You know, I have never heard anything about mail order husbands.

    There has to be some.

    By Blogger FantasticAlice, at 12:16 PM  

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