Sorry To Dump This On You
The other day I was in a restaurant--let me paint the picture---on my way to the restaurant the urge to urinate hit me. The bumps and potholes of some of the West Virginia roads did not help me to suppress the urge for very long. Needless to say, when I got to the restaurant, I plowed right by the maitre d' and to the bathroom. Thank God I eat there frequently enough to knock some of the waiters over on my way to the urinal.
I pushed open the door, unzipped and felt instant relief and the yellow liquid spilled forth. And then sighing, I took in my first real breath. The stench in their was horrendous. I could hear a toilet in one of the stalls finish it's swirl. Damn, what died in some man's colon? And furthermore, why didn't he spray the Febreeze deodorizer sitting on the sink. He may have, nothing could have drowned out that stench.
My problem? Receiving the blame for the wretched odor--I could hear some restaurant patrons outside the door ("Honey, I'll pay as soon as I finish up in here"...the door opens and a well dressed man walks in). He instantly sucks in his last breath and proceeds to the wall urinal. I know what he is thinking and I can't think of a way to let him know I didn't do it.
What is the proper bathroom etiquette to let someone know you didn't create the mess?
I pushed open the door, unzipped and felt instant relief and the yellow liquid spilled forth. And then sighing, I took in my first real breath. The stench in their was horrendous. I could hear a toilet in one of the stalls finish it's swirl. Damn, what died in some man's colon? And furthermore, why didn't he spray the Febreeze deodorizer sitting on the sink. He may have, nothing could have drowned out that stench.
My problem? Receiving the blame for the wretched odor--I could hear some restaurant patrons outside the door ("Honey, I'll pay as soon as I finish up in here"...the door opens and a well dressed man walks in). He instantly sucks in his last breath and proceeds to the wall urinal. I know what he is thinking and I can't think of a way to let him know I didn't do it.
What is the proper bathroom etiquette to let someone know you didn't create the mess?
posted by JM at
8:35 AM
31 Comments:
SPRAY the FEBREEZE! :)and say, phew! some people are so foul!, the other "guy" who was in here was so inconsiderate..
By
Cari, at 8:49 AM
pull your hands up, and shake your head...
"not me.. not i !!!"
By
madame P, at 10:33 AM
The beauty of the men's room: it doesn't really matter who left the gift. The important thing is that it is shared by all.
As far as etiquette in the men's room, here are the rules.
1) You can only talk to each other if you are both:
a) waiting together (usually only occurs at a sporting event or bar, where lines actually occur),
b)at the urinal at the same time, facing the wall (you must face the wall, and the wall only), or
c) at the sinks together.
2) You may never speak, nor be spoken to, whilst on the crapper.
Simple enough.
By
Anonymous, at 11:46 AM
Really, what do you care? He's some stranger, a guy you don't know, have never spoken to, and will likely never see again. So what's the problem?
Anything you say will make it look like you are blaming someone else for your stink. So don't say anything and let him draw his own conclusions. Besides, you are standing up, so that should be his first clue. You were sanding up, weren't you?
By
blackcrag, at 11:55 AM
I'm so glad to be a woman!
By
Anonymous, at 11:56 AM
Just give him the "yeah, I know" look. No words necessary.
By
Jay, at 2:37 PM
I had this same expirence sunday..
i had to pee badly and I was at Target, I walked in and the bathroom smelled foul, like maybe someone colostomy had popped..
anyhoo, I peed and scrurried out, as I was headed to the door some teenage girls went in, they smelled and looked me funny..
i said, it wasnt me girls:)
By
eyes_only4him, at 3:53 PM
I would have to agree. Just don't say anything. However, if it was you, look the guy square in the eyes, give him a closed mouth grin, and walk out the door. Just make sure you will never, ever see him again.
By
White Dade, at 4:17 PM
lol...i would cough ever so slightly and scuttle out like i was offended. hopefully he would get the picture.
but then again i'm not a guy...
By
Leila, at 5:04 PM
So funny....I would simply say "wasn't me...." and grin.
I once had a guy get on an elevator with me and fart and then got off and another person came on the next floor and gave me the dirtiest look, like I had done it....this obviously stuck with me because this was about 10 years ago now!...
By
Cathy, at 5:47 PM
I think you should just let him smell your fingers. That should convince him.
By
Mr. Shife, at 5:49 PM
Just say something like..."I know, that's pretty bad, the poor guy, he must have eaten something bad"!
By
Lee Ann, at 6:12 PM
This is how I see it, let him think you did it and laugh about it. He doesn't know you anyways. If he thinks you did it standing at the urinal then he's really stupid in the first place. :)
By
Drywall Mom, at 7:02 PM
That's happened to me (obviously not in a men's room, though !!) I walked out of the stall, looked at the person washing her hands (or whatever), screwed up my nose and said "that's disgusting, it wasn't me". Don't know whether she believed me, but ... it wasn't me !!!
By
Meow (aka Connie), at 7:34 PM
Just go with the flow. Walk out with an evil laugh. They are going to blame you anyway so you might as well have fun with it.
By
:P fuzzbox, at 8:08 PM
Or, you could let a fart of your own rip, and say, "Now THAT's me!"
By
kimber, at 8:39 PM
Oh I know...I worry about the same thing in those situations. It's like you want to go over to the nearest person and point out that it wasn't you.
By
Lindsey, at 10:29 PM
i had a dream you got a new lap top and i got your old one. i can not tell you how happy i was!
By
cher, at 11:09 PM
I had almost the same problem in a lift - the dude who was in the lift released a stink bomb and left on one floor and someone else got in on the next floor and gave me disgusted looks all the way
I was far too busy trying to hold my breath !
By
Anonymous, at 12:00 AM
you must go to some swanky places for them to have Febreeze sitting there...
whoever smelt it dealt it...i would've pointed and laughed at you! :P
By
LBseahag, at 12:03 AM
let them think what they want. it's funny that way. god i hate public restrooms, haha.
By
j, at 1:26 AM
Is there bathroom etiquite ?
By
j merlino, at 2:24 AM
ewwwww...yellow liquid..lol
By
Foxy, at 10:25 AM
I say don't worry about it. It's nature, and folks can deal. If someone has to go, they have to go, and no force could stop it ... if people can't handle that, and you're worried about them thinking "badly" of you for possibly doing it, they have their priorities all wrong when it comes to things to get upset about in this world!
-- david
By
David Amulet, at 3:16 PM
I don't know what to say... but I can't go to a bathroom if it's really, really smelly...
By
missy, at 5:07 PM
blech!
i think you look clean and nice and you don't need to explain these things.
By
x, at 6:38 PM
but, wait, you were at the urinal, right? he thought you farted something that rancid out?
you could always just say something sarcastic like "pleasant, isn't it?" or "I know, I know..." while shaking your head in disgust.
By
Anhoni Patel, at 6:42 PM
If it reaaly stinks, claim it. I man with a stinky shit is a real man.
By
Big Ben, at 7:40 PM
I recommend taking credit, and when you step out the door tell anyone nearby, You may not want to go in there for the next 35, 45 minutes.
By
Walter, at 1:08 AM
hahahahahahaha toilet humour is so amusing
By
ziggystardust73, at 5:19 AM
Screw it all...just get out & save yourself!
By
Chick, at 7:30 AM
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