Just When Your Warranty Runs Out....

I spent the afternoon with my mother, aunts, sister and cousin yesterday. We had lunch at the Olive Garden--calamari appetizer is food for the gods. One of the aunts was visiting from the Philippines. She's a world traveler, never staying in one place for very long. She comes to West Virginia once a year, stays about a week and then goes onward to see other people or other places. This time her mountain visit time was cut short by a desire to see New Orleans. After this lunch with all females, I needed something to wash all the estrogen off of me. I didn't have to wait for long. My manhood was again thrust back to the forefront.

After dropping my aunt off at the airport (I was driving my mother's car), my father called and asked me to get him a Fish Filet at McDonald's. He's usually a very health conscious person (fish broiled or grilled--fresh, not more than a few days post-catch), steamed veggies or plain rice. No dessert, no fatty foods. But he does have his moments. Fish Filet's at McDonald's are one of them.Long John Silvers is the other moment. What I don't get is this man demands the freshest of seafood when dining out, but will have a once in a blue moon craving for this fast food fried crap. As I pulled into McDonald's, my mother's car just suddenly stopped. It coasted for two secondns and the engine just shut off.

My first thought, WTF? This is a car that barely has 39,000 thousand miles on it. It is a Mercedes Benz, supposedly a finely tuned piece of machinery. I thought things like this don't happen to these babies. The car had just had it's last "check-up" in late November. Did you know that Mercedes Benz has it's "check-ups" like people--they do all kinds of diagnnostic tests and stuff every couple months just to make sure it's ticker is ticking correctly? So I was rather perplexed when it went "putt-putt-putt--blah". My mother of course was having a hissy fit--"how could this happen", "there can't be anything wrong with MY car", "what did you do"? My thought was that the car was so sensitive, it knew that a mere unworthy student was driving it and in it's temperamental state, wanted nothing to do with me, so just laid there like a high priced call girl. She told me to get out of the driver's seat and she would get it to go. We traded seats, she put the key into the ignition twisted and nothing happened (I shouldn't say key--it isn't a key, it's just this square thing with an infra-red thingamajig on one end. The ignintion recognizes the infrared thing and starts when prompted). The radio and heater did come on, so my guess was the battery was fine.

I called Mercedes roadside assistance. And yes they were pleasant, kind compassionate. The first thing they asked was "Are you in a safe place". The lady on the other end asked for the VIN of the vehicle. She then said she would have a specialized technician call me within a few moments. However,they couldn't find an on call technician in my area to come out to me. So we called AAA to tow it to the dealership. At this point, my mother had asked my father to come down and trade places with her. She took off in his car and left us men to do all the explaining. The towing company arrived in almost no time--kudos to them!!! They pulled up, parked beside the car and started to do the things mechanics do.

My father was so like a four year old again. He was completely fascinated watching the mechanic throw the straps onto the car and watch the towing in action. The mechanic said to my father--"Slick isn't it", just like he was talking to a little boy watching Nascar on the sidelines. My father smiled and said, "really neat". He kept watching as the car was lifted upwards. I couldn't believe how easily amused he was. He then commented that my younger nephews would probably have liked to watch this towing process. Ahh, there it was, the awe didn't come from him, but the thought that his younger grandchildren would have gotten a kick out of it.

The mechanic made a comment about how beautiful the car was. My father retorted that beauty meant nothing unless it runs. He then said something about the two year or 50,000 mile warranty, adding that the two years had come first.

We got the car towed to the dealership and I left a note along with my cell number in their late night drop box. I wanted to be the one to explain to them what had happened since I was driving the car. I also wanted to divert them from my mother's anger--she would have let them have it--"how could this happen", "this car has only this many miles on it", "you just checked it less than three months ago". All of this done in a shreik that the neighborhood dogs would howl to. I also didn't want her to tell them, "it broke and I did nothing at all" leaving them without any clues for assessment. They called early in the morning and the car is currently being attached to a systems computer to find out the problem.

"We'll fix the problem," the guy said in an almost apologetic tone. He sounded like whatever had happened was their fault. Why can't all mechanics be this nice?

The car is currently in stable condition. All assessments should be out by late afternoon. They'll keep us posted with updates and any changes in status.

P.S. I would like to thank all the friendly people who stopped and offered their help.