Surfing The Cable Waves

One of my best friends and I spend a lot of time on the phone together. We study together on the phone--well her more than me. I can't seem to juggle a phone conversation and pathology flash cards at the same time (I don't really have to juggle the phone since my razr has blue-tooth capability). And than later after quizzing one another, we "watch" television while chatting. She flips through the channels and tells me of the interesting shows she happens upon. Mulan (as I so affectionately call her--it's a nickname I made up for her because of her flowy dark hair and maybe two or three generations ago, she was of Chinese lineage) then urges me to check out whatever she is watching. Unlucky for me, she doesn't ever check to see what Cinemax is playing after 10 p.m. It goes something like this....

Mulan: "Oh God, what is going with Bravo?"
Me: "Hold on a second, I'll tell you." I then fumble for the remote and switch it to Bravo
Me: "Those metrosexual guys are plucking that hairy guy's unibrow."
Mulan: "Oh, okay."
A few minutes of silence
Mulan: "Why is Meredith Baxter Birney crying again?"
Me: "What channel?"
Mulan: "W.E., err...um....Women's Entertainment channel. It's a branch of Lifetime".
Me: "Hold on, I gotta have sometime to find it on my cable."
Mulan: "Holding,! Luckily she's having an emotional convulsion. It looks like she's going to cry awhile"
Me: "The info bar says her lawyer husband is having an affair with her best friend's daughter Didn't she have a lawyer husband who had an affair in the movie 'Betty Broderick:A Woman Scorned?"
Mulan: "Probably? Hey, look on HBO, is that the Kevin Connolly that is dating Nikki Hilton".
Me: "Yeah".

Okay, if we roll back a few minutes through the conversation, why do I know that Meredith Baxter Birney played another scorned lawyer's wife? I don't watch "Lifetime" all that much, except for when Mulan and I do the let's watch television together. If a chick can get me to watch that channel, I think it means we've crossed the line between friendship. It also may mean we've crossed way over the line of being more than friends--once you've squeezed my testicles with a vice, you don't ever get a chance to play with them again. So I'm not sure where you would file our relationship.

She's been my friend forever--well it feels that way because that is how long medical school lasts. She saved me from being homesick. She rolled her eyes when I told her I was fat. She rolled her eyes when I told her that I would rather be Draco Malfoy, rather than Harry Potter. And she rolled her eyes when I told her that I was going to wear my graduation cap for a week. She rolled her eyes when I would devour that mixed bag of candy comprised of gummi bears, sour patch kids and jelly beans that we would buy in one of those shops that charge $2.49 per pound. She actually likes my six pairs of overalls (but laughs that most of them had to be name brands). When we go out to eat, she can tell the waiter what I'll be having even if I haven't told her what I wanted. And although it sounds like I might be falling for her, like I said you can't date someone you've watched "Lifetime" with. It's more embarassing than seeing "it' shriveled from being in the pool too long.

So aside from surfing channels, you can also say that we've surfed through the waves of life as well. And I would like to thank her for helping me keep balance.