Fountain of Youth

I just realized that I'm much younger than I thought. Nope, I didn't find a mysterious birth certificate that was hidden in my parent's attic. I'm talking mental age.

Yesterday, one of my friends called me back. Well let me set the stage. This chick has been my friend since my undergrad days. We hung out together all the time. She was one of the guys. She would get a drink with us after our Friday afternoon chemistry lab. Unlike most chicks, she would wake up at 6:30 a.m. on game day and meet us for tailgating and would sneak Jim Beam pints in her jacket for us. She was just one of the guys.

I kept in touch with her through email, through snail-mail, and now because of free minutes and nights and weekends (she's the same carrier as me) through mobile. Whenever one of us calls her, she answers right away. Doesn't matter if she's in a meeting, she takes the call. I once called her while her company was in the middle of a proposal/merger/corporate something or other (forgive me, I don't speak business) and she took the call.

Recently, on a business trip, she met some guy. It was serendipity--did I use this term correctly? Anyway, she met him at the hotel bar while waiting for her colleagues. He was waiting for his. They rode the same plane back because get this...they live in the same city!! So they are dating now. They've been dating for about six months.

I called her yesterday to bitch about something. Whine, gripe, and temper tantrums. She handles them well and makes me realize that it was never any big deal. It went through to voice mail. Okay, maybe she was in a tunnel. I called again...eight rings and then voice mail. Checked my watch 12:30 p.m. She should be at lunch. One more time...third time is always the charm. Ring..ring..ring..ring. My ring tone is "Country Roads"--no way that she would let it play that much. Voice mail again.

Oh my gosh, she's been kidnapped. She's fallen and can't get up. Some aliens have taken her. She's trapped in an elevator or a speeding bus. She slipped in the bathtub and hit her head. I panicked for a moment and then a text came through.

"Hi, sorry. Will call you back. I'm eating lunch with Craig".

WTF? You take my call during business meetings. You take my call no matter where you are...and I get blown off so you can play footsie, have a martini and eat calamari appetizers. Are you kidding me with this?

Half and hour later she called back. I watched her name flash several times on my phone. Voice mail bleep. Ring...ring..ring (no one one my phone has their own ring tone. I'm too lazy to figure out how that works. Well really I don't know how it works). Voice mail bleep. Ring...ring..ring...voice mail bleep. Bing..text message. If you can't answer me, I'm too busy watching MTV to answer you.

Text message said.."I'm so sorry. Call me later. Craig says hi".

Yeah frickin Craig says hi. I wasn't calling for him. I hope he gets indigestion and diarrhea from the martini, calamari and chocolate mousse mix in his stomach.

I know. I'm four years old.