Shaken Not Stirred

Monday, January 09, 2006

More horrifying then getting neutered....

Shopping at Victoria's Secret with mom...
I had written a post about my parent's going to the Philippines to help out with a medical mission over there. I had thought they had finished sending gifts over there--recall the two boxes filled with things like spam, Vienna sausage, candy and coffee products. In preparation for their upcoming trip, they then started buying gifts that made sense. CDs, cologne, perfume and clothes. And on the very last day, my mother asked me to go to the mall with her. She said she had to buy some presents for my cousin Amy.

To my horror, I found out that Amy wanted Victoria Secret stuff. When we entered the store, my mother held something up and said outloud, "Do you think Amy would like this?". My left arm started tingling and suddenly became numb. I could feel the crushing feeling in my chest and became light-headed and then nauseated. Eyeing the Gap across the hall, I made my excuses and exited the store.

What was my mother thinking. I know that I have a little hillbilly in me, but I try not to imagine my cousin in silk teddies and bikini underwear. My cousin may be quite attractive to some--she is a successful obstetrician (I was told she was quite skillfull in performing cesarean sections because of her surgical skills), just completed the South Beach diet, and is still under fifty. But I she also looks a lot like my father's sister, has four grown children and is RELATED to me! I don't ever want to see her Victoria Secret's collection. My mother thought I was being ridiculous.

I can now successfully describe the feeling one gets right before a heart attack or stoke.

35 Comments:

  • LOL!!!

    Nothing worse than a visual of someone you NEVER wanted a visual of!!

    Time heals all!!

    By Blogger Ang, at 5:38 AM  

  • Now that is funny. At least you weren't asked to help with modeling any of the outfits, now that would have been horrifying. Shock and Awe.

    By Blogger :P fuzzbox, at 7:51 AM  

  • It's not as bad as your parents talking about sex. OMG! That is disgusting and makes me want to puke!

    By Blogger Anonymous Shannon, at 8:41 AM  

  • ohh.. baby angel... you should've just helped your mom with the choosing... i have a feeling that you'd be good at it.. considering the amount of porn you download on the net.....

    hahahaha (oh i'm so funny!)

    By Blogger totolehero, at 9:50 AM  

  • HA! Too funny---at least your mom didn't ask how it would look on her....;)

    By Blogger the_mrs, at 9:52 AM  

  • Come on--even drs need to feel sexy:-) How nice that you tagged along! You're my kind of guy!

    By Anonymous Babette, at 10:23 AM  

  • This is my first time to your site. I too would have been embarrassed. There are certain things family members should not have to imagine about their relatives in that way. My mom does that to me all the time. I hate it..

    By Blogger Drywall Mom, at 10:23 AM  

  • I'm impressed that you walked in the store with her...

    By Blogger JJ, at 11:24 AM  

  • Oh man! The mortification must have been horrendous! I sypathize with you, I don't want to imagine a relative in their silk undies either!

    I don't ever shop with my mom to avoid things like that.

    No amount of soap or washing will erase those images from your mind either.

    The Mrs: Perish that thought! Ack! Now, I am imagining... ewww!

    Where's the soap!

    By Blogger Grant, at 12:11 PM  

  • Yep! This is what it feels like to have a stroke! Ahhh!

    By Blogger Luke, at 12:58 PM  

  • lmao! that was great, thanks for the smile. what was she thinking?? but at least it wasn't, "how would this look on ME??" now THAT would of given me a heart attack...lol

    By Blogger vani, at 2:35 PM  

  • I'm with you on this one...there are just some people I would not want to shop at VS for...at all.

    By Blogger Chick, at 2:46 PM  

  • Did you taste copper?

    By Blogger Gyrobo, at 4:58 PM  

  • You at least made it a funny story, but that would be horrifying.

    By Blogger mrshife, at 6:45 PM  

  • Dude. Angel. That's one small step away from a Montel episode. Ew. So, is that your limit then - 50? You'd go out with a woman as long as she's under 50. That's steep.

    By Blogger Anhoni Patel, at 8:10 PM  

  • well it could have been a lot worse. she could have been shopping for herself, and holding up thongs.

    you're a wee bit of a shopping lightweight i'm guessing

    By Blogger Badoozie, at 9:04 PM  

  • This could have been written into a Seinfeld episode. You did the right thing man...

    By Blogger Eric, at 9:12 PM  

  • hehe. whenever i look at men in vicky's, they look really scared/confused/self-conscious. it's definitely not for the lighthearted ;).

    By Blogger joey♥, at 11:24 PM  

  • hey, do you think your mom would send me some Victoria's Secret stuff?

    By Blogger cher, at 12:11 AM  

  • Angel, I've only been in VS once, with a female friend... I have to say it was quite an experience.

    All those shop women standing around saying 'hi, how are you?' with huge grins (like their laughing at your male discomfort) combined with the racks and racks of lingerie makes for an interesting experience.

    Run. Run for your lives.

    By Blogger ziggystardust73, at 4:43 AM  

  • I saw my brother in Speedo's once. Very scary indeed. I know what you mean

    By Blogger Ben Heller, at 6:51 AM  

  • Just tell your mum to get her the Very Sexy perfume. Good stuff.

    By Blogger missy, at 11:05 AM  

  • that totally reminds me of being a kid and shopping with my mom!

    By Blogger markus, at 11:54 AM  

  • You are so cute....sorry it was such a bad experience for you.

    By Blogger Lee Ann, at 12:57 PM  

  • you young men are so conservative ;)

    By Blogger Chloe, at 4:18 PM  

  • OH! My! I will start to pass around the collection plate to pay for your therapy. lol

    By Blogger Ruben, at 7:22 PM  

  • LOL. I don't blame you for running at all. How horrifying.

    By Blogger Lindsey, at 7:28 PM  

  • You know what's even worse than that? A right-wing communist convention. Is that even possible?

    By Blogger Gyrobo, at 8:46 PM  

  • Yuck...picking out Victoria's Secret for your cousin is almost as bad as accidentally finding your parents getting it on.

    By Blogger The Phoenix, at 10:20 PM  

  • Bwahhhaahhahaha!That is NOT nice!!! She should have never put you in the situation in the first place. I am sooooo sorry!

    By Blogger sabatkes, at 11:57 PM  

  • I still think it was nice that you tagged along. Yeah a little mortifying, but you had the courage. You're awesome!

    By Anonymous Babette, at 12:33 AM  

  • I think I would have just crawled into the fetal positon right then and there. There are just some experiences that are never meant to be shared between a mother and duaghter. ;-)

    By Blogger Etchen, at 10:07 AM  

  • HA! That would be pure misery--even if it was me with my mother, because we just don't by "gifts" of the lingerie type for any family members. My dad drug my husband into Victoria's this Christmas, suggesting he (husb.) might like to get me something from there. From the way he talked,he felt a lot like you did. And needless to say...no purchases were made there!

    By Blogger ***Double_Oh_No***, at 10:43 AM  

  • LMAO!!

    Sorry you had to go through that one, but at least you shared it

    By Blogger SquirmsteR, at 4:21 PM  

  • Mom was out of line--maybe she did it on purpose to help you empathize with real heart attack victims.

    By Blogger English Professor, at 11:37 PM  

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