Shaken Not Stirred

Friday, June 25, 2004

$5 $5, Me Love You Long Time

I watched Margaret Cho's stand-up routine last night on the Sundance channel. Man is this woman hilarious. I love her! I even loved her short-lived sit-com The Margaret Cho show. Anyway, somewhere during her routine she talked about being in Asia, I think Bangkok is what she said, and the street vendors selling sex on the street by yelling out things like "Vagina playing ping-pong or vagina drinking beer". Very hilarious skit.

Now to my point. It reminded me of a time when I was in medical school on the islands. One of my classmates was celebrating his birthday and decided to show the American students what was available for less than $10--which is a pretty steep price once converted. He took us for a ride to some darkened street. He came to slow stop, opened his window, well cracked it I should say and then beeped his horn (morse code style). This skinny man came out and asked "what?", quite rudely. The birthday boy explained that we wanted to see some girls. All of them...

The man snapped his fingers and a long line of girls came out from nowhere--like genies from a bottle. My classmate then turned on his headlights and these girls pranced around in cattle formation in front of the car. My guesstimate was about 80 girls (ranging in age from 18 to 22). My classmate then tuned up the radio and yelled dance! And like cattle, these girls started shaking their hips all staring at the headlights and whispering to no one in particular, "I want you..I need you..I got to have you" rhythmically. It was quite a show. My buddy then pointed to one, handed the guy some money (the exchange rate put it at about 8 dollars), and the girl came to the door. She looked in the car, was not at all freaked out by seeing 4 guys in the car, and said "Move over". She got into the car with us and we took off.

I had no idea what part of town we were in, since the furthest I've gone off campus was the mall. He drove about ten more minutes and then came to this huge wall. The gates of the wall opened (once again to the tune of three horn blasts) and a guard came and asked what we wanted. My classmate told him a room to which he then took some money (approximately 10 dollars) and showed us to a garage door, which he opened and then closed once we were inside. So much for having paparazzi take our pictures. We fumbled thru the dark garage and found some stairs at the top of which was a room with a bed, a television (which for some reason only played porn, a boom-box, and a bathroom. The girl then asked "what do you want". My buddy said "dance for me and my friends". He turned on the boom-box and she danced. I don't know how long for, cause I was still in shock at only spending $18. When she was done, another buddy said he was going to stay behind and "take her home", we piled into the car, left the garage and headed back to the dorms.

Can't imagine what she would have done for $20....

Until another thought pops into my head...


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