Shaken Not Stirred

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Stuck In A John Hughes Film

Yesterday, my niece Isabella Joy was baptized. My family threw a party for the occasion. Her Godfather, my brother's best friend since forever, Brent flew into town for the occasion. I can't remember a time when Brent wasn't a part of our household. At my brother's wedding, part of his bestman speech went something like this..."I was always considered the tallest Filipino and Jay was always considered the Lebanese with the shortest nose".

Anyhow, during the course of the night, a round of reminiscence started. We talked about things we had done in the past and things that we remembered about each other. Brent brought up his most vivid memory of me showing my "hatred" for at least one of my brother's friends. I do remember playing this immature game. My only explanation to him was that I was stuck in a bitter, brooding state, lost in a world and imitating characters created by John Hughes. I joked that his saving grace was his sister Christy, who I still to this day adore. I don't know what compelled me to be mean to him or any of my brother's friends. They are still very much a part of my brother's life as well as any family gathering we have (whenever they are in town--Brent has moved to Florida, David has moved to Philadelphia, Alex to Chicago (although, he never got any mean brunt), Rob has moved to somewhere--but he still does show up at big gatherings).

I think this was just part of the sibling rivalry, which I am not sure ever resolved itself. There is still a little tension that erupts, especially whenenver Jay (my brother) talks to me. Or when I hear his voice. It just flicks this certain switch that triggers automatic headaches and nerve wracking, nauseating, stomach turning, emotions. But I still must say, that I love my brother more than anything else in this world (except of course for his children, which I do care for more). It's just that we are completely two different people. I guess it will always be that way, I think.

But I must say that his choice in friends has somewhat redeemed his character. These are really great people. I guess my past dislike for them was default by association. However, thru the years as I got to know them my feelings for them have changed. They are actually great persons. So I guess this makes my brother a great person by association. Something from them must have rubbed off on my brother, although I can't quite see it yet. Maybe I'm not looking correctly, or looking with preconceived notions that a person never changes.

None-the-less it was good to see everyone again. And it will be good to see everyone again and again and again.

Till another thought pops into my head


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