One of my buddies is going through some relationship problems at the moment. He has been dating this girl for almost three years and recently found out about that she went on a date with another guy. She didn't sleep with the guy, or even kiss the guy, just went out for dinner. She told him that she was having second thoughts about their relationship and was just testing the waters to see if maybe she was right.
He is so overcome with grief he can't see straight. He missed a couple days of work and I've been told doesn't answer his phone all the time, although whenever I have called, he has picked up. He told me that he loves this girl and wants to work things out, even going as far as couple counseling if they need to. She said that she is willing to work on the "wrongs" of their relationship also, because she didn't feel anything on that date, and could only keep thinking about wanting to be with him.
Some of our other friends have told him to dump her. They say she's getting her cake and eating it too. I told him to let it play out, to see what happens, to do what his gut tells him to do. I feel this kind of advice can't go wrong. To me, being a friend is allowing another person to lean on you and that's what I'm doing. My other buddies tell me to "grow some" and to tell him to leave her---not to be so passive. They say he'll only end up getting hurt.
My argument is he wants to work things out with her. If this is what he wants, then all we can do is support him. When he falls, if he falls then we can pick him up. But to try and prevent that fall, may only bring some resentment and thoughts of "what if", if we don't let him try it his way.
He asked me yesterday what would happen if he got hurt. I told him he'd always have friends to help him through it.