Shaken Not Stirred

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Birth Control Pills for Guys?

Okay, I just saw on the news something about birth control pills for guys. We are suppose to take it several hours before the deed and it will render our reproductive juices incapable of fertilization for several hours and then it wears off. I see this pill failing on many different levels.

My first argument is--it's to be taken several hours before intercourse (hehe, I said intercourse). Now, I don't know about any of the oily bo-hunks out there,but most guys don't know exactly when they will be getting some. I can only speak for myself--but I'm basically ready to go if given the chance (which hasn't happend in oh-so-long). Plus the unpredictive nature of the female--she may or may not have a headache. So even for married guys, knowing that you will be getting some either that day, or even that hour is not predictable. Correct me if I'm wrong.

That first was the biggest argument. The rest are just little arguments. In today's day and age--don't most guys want to protect themselves from disease and disaster, so therefore carry little trojans with them anyway? It's a pain in the butt to stop midway and dress your fighter up, but it's better than it getting some incurable rash--we already itch enough down there. Plus in sex education, our instructor said that one way our girlfriends can make it fun is for the chick to use her mouth to put the condom on. I like that option.

I'm hoping that maybe The Phoenix
might delve into this new phenomenon and explain the pharmacology of this new pill in simpler terms. I'm not getting how you can render someone infertile for a few hours, especially concerning the little swimmers. What are they just drugged up enough to slow down their swimming ability? Maybe I should have researched a little before I started this rant, so I don't look like I'm lost (which I never admit by the way. I don't like asking for directions--and I'm not lost, I do know where I am, I just don't know where the place I'm looking for is located).

Anyway, what do you guys think of this new birth control concept. Incidently, I heard it will be available in a few years.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Christmas Is Here

There is one station which plays Christmas music 24 hours daily. I like to put it on every once in awhile to feel that Christmas spirit.

This morning while I was listening to it, they played that song with the lyrics about war being over, and "and so this is Christmas, and what have you done, another year over, a new one has begun". I'm pretty sure most of you have heard it. This wasn't the John Lennon version, it was some female singing it. The lyrics go to me because the war isn't over. It made me think about our soldiers in the middle east, fighting during Thanksgiving, being away from their families and endagering their lives on a daily basis. It made me think about how they wouldn't get to spend Christmas with their families.

During my clinical rotations, I didn't get to go home for Christmas. It was the lonliest Christmas I have ever spent. I got to spend it with classmates, roommates and friends. I was homesick and really miserable. I can't even fathom what these soldeirs feel on a daily basis, concerning their families and friends.

The song just made me really sad and thankful for what I have. The fact that my family and friends are mostly just a few states away, less then a 16 hour drive. Much quicker by plane. And one of the biggest reasons I have a lot of this freedom is because of these lonely soldiers fighting for it.

God Bless the U.S.soldiers this season and everyday in between!!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Shopping Madness

Yesterday at midnight started some shopping madness. Door opened at midnight and stayed open till 6 a.m. People poured in from everywhere. I didn't go, but my cousin's wife and an aunt went. What they described to me could only be defined as pure pandemonium. Cash registar lines were broken down into stacks of three. Some of the stores had to close their outer doors and limit the number of people entering. My cousin described it much like the lines in a club--whenever two people left, two more people were let in.

She said that there were some pretty good sales. She eyed a Coach purse that was remarkably maked down. The only reason she didn't buy it was because she said she wasn't willing to wait in a line that already had 30 or so people in it. She did however get a couple pairs of shoes and two for one sweaters.

What would make anyone want to wait in lines like that? I don't care how much savings you would get, I'll pay full price not to have to deal with that. She also said she had to laugh at the husbands and boyfriends who were dropping their girlfriends/wives off at the entrances to try and find parking. There were also very sleepy males sitting on random benches or even along a store wall holding bags and other treasured purchases. My cousin? He was soundly asleep with his three kids.

I just don't understand it. If you can't get it at the store, you can find it on-line. And if isn't available in blue, then get the green. Is the savings really worth all the hassle?

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I just wanted to write a short post and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Also, I love fried turkey!! At first the sound of it sounded horrendous. But my brother-in-law has been making them now for the last 3 or 4 years and they are GOOOOD! I don't know why I just commited that grammatical error, why writing good that way would emphasize how tasty a fried turkey is, but hey all I could think about right now is Thanksgiving dinner, pumpkin pie, stuffing smothered with gravy and food in general. I've been starving myself this past week--eating only good healthy stuff and staying extra minutes on the treadmill--all to be able to stuff myself so much that afterwards all I can do is belch (while watching football).

Anyway, God Belss and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Racing Thoughts

While reading psychiatry, I often stumble upon some signs or symptoms that I feel I have. Collectively many of these signs and symptoms can point to a diagnosis, individually, I think they make for a paranoid person.

One of the signs I saw this weekend said racing thoughts. I have always felt and some of my friends can verify this, that my thoughts run quickly thru my mind. It's the reason that I start off a post with one topic, get confused half-way thru and forget the point I was trying to make in it. Those of you who are faithful readers can attest to this. I always feel my posts start off pretty well, but end horribly-- similar to what pre-mature ejaculation can do to any sexual situation. It may have been good for me, but leaves you wondering WTF?

For a long time I've always felt I've had attention deficit disorder too. I can't seem to concentrate on anything for long periods of time. The only time my mind seems to stay put is when I'm reading medical material or else interviewing a patient. Otheriwse (and this may be detrimental to some of my friendships), I tend to sometimes tune a person out. Sometimes my friends will be talking about a problem they have and my mind will wander--and I'll do the "un-huhs" and "on-nos" thus far properly inserted into our conversation. However, if they are talking about some sort of illness they've gone thru, I can stay rather focused.

I also feel like I've got some sort of autism. My environment must be stable. For instance, when I'm in church and we are reciting group prayer, everyone must be in harmony. If not, I get thrown off and end up messing up the song or prayer. Take this past Sunday for instance. During the Apostle's Creed, there was some woman in ear shot vicinity that was rapidly going thru the prayer. She was far ahead of everyone, including the priest. My thoughts started racing and I wanted to turn around and yell, just because you say it faster isn't going to make mass end any sooner. She distracted me for a good 20 minutes later. This is what I mean about a slight autistic quality to my nature. I couldn't get back into mass because she distracted me.

And now, once again, I've lost sight of what my concluding paragraph was going to state. I do know however that I'm now questioning my ability to concentrate or even my retro-grade memory. And it's not even that remote of a memory. It's only been about 10 minutes for gosh sakes.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Enough With The Stars

Last night was the finale of "Dancing With The Stars", out of curiosity, I tuned into the last five minutes to see who would win. I can't believe I tuned in, but I did. It's like last year when I watched a couple episodes of "Skating With The Stars"--a show that should never be viewed EVER! I think they also had a pilot or may have even shown a couple episodes of "Cooking With The Stars".

About "Dancing With The Stars" and it's credibility--look how far Jerry Springer got. I'm no dancing expert. In fact I couldn't distinguish between a tango, foxtrot or waltz (why I even knew three dance names, I don't know. I literally gave myself an enema and those names fell onto the floor). However, I did know that Mr. Springer could not dance--at all. I've the "I'm drunk" dance at a club which had more rhythm. But for some odd reason, he remained in the competition. I know that he has a huge fan base, and it probably propelled him thru the few weeks that he remained a contender. But I think that he may have been kept on for entertainment value. He admitted himself that he couldn't dance, jokingly saying that it was cruel to keep him on so long.

You know, I just realized that for someone who despises a show and it's premise so much, I know an awful lot about it. I may just be one of the many counted Nielson ratings viewers that keep a show like this going.

Anyway, the point of my post was suppose to be how many more shows can we get out of work celebrities and semi-famous wanna-bes to do? These reality shows are the "Love Boat" and "Fantasy Island" of the year 2000.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What Does The Baby Think

I went to a wedding-like baptism this weekend. The grandparents of this child rented out a ballroom, complete with catering, a dee-jay, a photographer and thank-you for coming souvenirs. The place was gorgeous, the food was fantastic and the guests numbered close to 150 people. All this for a baptism. This baby was the first grandchild for the grandparents throwing it.

During his speech, the grandfather giving it explained their austentacious affair. He explained that this was his first grandchild, and the first female born with his last name. He had two boys and his wife had always wanted a little girl. So this precious child was not only the first grandchild, but a girl to boot. He further explained that since her father was the second born, they showed no excitement for him (they loved him though). Gone were the days of breaking out the camera for first steps, first baths, and first words. He said the first boy had a ratio of 10 to 1 photos, and any photos with the 2nd son, usually involved the first. So he explained that the lavish affair was also thrown as a "make-up" for whatever they didn't do for Erika's father.

Erika, slepted through the whole affair. Thru dinner, through the toasts and even through dancing. I didn't see her flinch once. We even joked that someone should check her breathing.She received lavish gifts too--baby jewelry from Tiffany's, gift cards to Pottery Barn for Kids and numerous checks and cash cards. All of this because the child was now officially a Christian.

And what did the baby think? I'm pretty sure she was thinking "shush--I'm sleeping".

Friday, November 10, 2006

Too much diet soda

I'm sitting in a family restaurant with wi-fi to study. The library is closed in observance of Veteran's Day, so I had to find a place with wi-fi that was study friendly. I remembered coming in here once and seeing a bunch of students studying, so I opted to come in here today.

Usually I don't eat while I'm studying. Digestion makes me sleepy, but since I was going to be occupying one of their tables, I thought I should order more than just a coffee--like I have seen so many other students do. On a students budget, I can't really afford to splurge like this (since I plan on staying beyond breakfast and lunch--I know I'll be ordering twice). I've seen the other students milk the heck out of a refillable coffee or beverage. I just feel bad, so I ordered a fruit bowl for breakfast (four bucks for chopped fruit) and a diet soda. For lunch I'm sure I'll have the Cesar's salad (I've already pre-planned my order to keep both meals around 11 dollars). Anyway, I've been sipping on the soda while sifting thru my notes. I guess it's sub-conscious, I don't know, but I have noticed that when I have to read thru a paragraph twice, I pick up the cup and sip.

This has caused me to use the bathroom more than I'm use to. So far--the bathroom visits have numbered 4 (and that's in the last two hours). I've filled my large cup only once. Come to think of it, the guy behind the counter automatically assummed I wanted a large when all I said was I wanted a drink. Which brings me to another point--I've noticed that I always get a large drink in a restaurant with refillable beverages. I don't know why--or why the option is even offerred. It's refillable, why have more than one size?

Anyway, I'm hoping the last visit was it for ahwile. I've tossed my cup so as to not stress-reach for it again. And I've thrown away the uneaten portion of my salad so as to not stress-eat. This is why I like the library--no beverages or food permited on the premises. I don't have to pee or deal with unwanted calories.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

A Missed Observation

One of my really good friends in medical school invited me over to his parent's house this weekend. His girlfriend was going to be in and his brother (with newborn baby)was also visiting. I thought it would be a good opportunity to get away from the books, the lonliness of living in solitude and also a perfect opportunity to eat a home cooked meal. I haven't seen his brother in about a year and I had only seen pictures of the baby.

When I got to their house, my buddy wasn't home yet. His brother let me and brought his daughter out to see me. He said that she wasn't feeling well and was a little cranky. He asked me if I thought it was because they took her to the mall the previous afternoon, thinking she may have caught something from one of the many strangers around. I asked him what the temperature was and what he had done for her so far. He said the temp was about 100 and that his mother (a physician) had given the baby some baby tylenol. I told him to wait a few hours and then take the temperature again (I've really gotta brush up on my pediatrics--but ask me anything about hypertension).

A few hours later, the baby still had a temperature. However, she was still drinking milk and also pretty active. My buddy told his brother, "if they can still eat/drink, they should be alright". He looked to me for confirmation. Their mother and father still weren't home from some social activity they were attending. I told him that I thought so, that I had heard that as long as the baby remained active and not lethargic, there wasn't anything. I looked at my buddy and asked where his pediatric Blueprints were.

When Grandma came home she asked about the fever--and asked how many times the baby tylenol was given. She then pulled a grandma, pushed a speed-dial button on her cell phone and informed someone on the other line that she would be arriving with her grandchild.

My first thought? I can't believe that I advised my friend that I had thought it was okay--that the fevers weren't too bad.

We got to the E.R. and my friend was interviewed by a somewhat "rude" nurse. She informed my friend that a temp of 99 didn't constitute a fever and then proceeded to say, "next problem--what did you do and any other signs and symtoms that brought you in". My friend and his wife were speechless and stuttering. I was wondering why would you be so rude to people who were obviously nervous because they were new parents.

Anyway to make a long story short, it turns out the baby had a urinary tract infection. The parents were told some further work-up would be done to find the problem.

My buddy and I were talking in the car afterwards and wondering how we could have missed it. We wondered why it wasn't even a differential on our list of possiblities. And instead of a relaxing weekend, we pulled out our books and started reading again. When do I switch over from becoming a student to a physician?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I Must Have Bumped It In My Sleep

I think I may have bumped my head at night or I've got an idiopathic subarachnoid bleed. Let me explain...

The other morning I had the Megan Mullally show on in the background while I was going through my morning routine. I prepare breakfast--rather I nuke breakfast from a box or from some frozen concoction. I also make sure all the right books and notebooks are in my bookbag. Anyway, the volume wasn't on loud enough for me to hear who she was interviewing or introducing. When I looked up from my breakfast bowl and vitamin, someone was on stage dancing/singing, so I turned up the volume and continued to eat my nuked breakfast. It was a rap/hip-hop song and it was catchy, so I turned up the volume a little more. My buddy who was also getting his books together and stuffing his computer into his back-pack asked "Who's that?" and then when on to say it was catchy. I told him I wasn't sure, until I looked up and saw K-Fed prancing around the stage. Gone were his dread-locks or corn-rows. But I would recgonize that "I'm famous because of certain-circumstances and riding the coat-tails of my wife shit-eating grin".

I can't believe that I actually thought something he created could be catchy and not awful, ridiculous or even comedic at best. It was alright. I'm not going to go out and buy the album, nor even down-load the song from iTunes, but it was actually alright for his first try. What the heck is wrong with me? How did my taste for music deteriorate? This makes me question my very ecclectic taste in music. My iPod contains anything from Rascal Flatts "Me and My Gang" to Fergie's "London Bridge". But still, a taste for K-Fed?

Maybe in tonight I'll sleep closer to the edge of the bed and reverse the bump.