Shaken Not Stirred

Friday, December 30, 2005

Who, what, why, when, where and how?

I just had to post a little something.

I've recently been bombarded with some smoke flavored spam! Somehow my email address got sent to tons of "barristars" (is that even a word? I've never heard of it until my recent spam attack). These barristars have been writing me and telling me that they are sorry to inform me of some "ill" news. They have a client who has left me millions of dollars in a will. These clients have all met some tragic, untimely passing. These barristars have searched high and low for me, finally finding me--so that they can now pass on this windfall to me. The catch? Give them my bank account number and access to it--thereby allowing them to deposit the MILLIONS into my account?

Have these barristars been smoking spam or the tin that preserves it? I'm certainly not giving them my account number, or a blank cheque (that's how some of them spell it), or a finders fee. And to boot, these barristars are from a part of the world that I know my ancestors have never traveled to, except via the Travel channel (curtesy of Direct TV).

It's not only one barristar that is writing me, but several. And none of these deceased relatives have a last name, slightly bearing my surname crest (do Filipino descendents have a crest? or is that just the Scottish?). And I tell you, I get at least one spam contact from them daily. Maybe I should check it out--and if I do inherit millions, will have that party on a yacht I always dreamed of having.

Tune in next week to see if I have any unknown relatives show up at my door.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Christmas has come can gone once again. I remember the anticipation building up to the day, it's always been the same for me since childhood. It's the excitement and the feeling of great things to come. And then the 25th comes--the hours of the day don't seem to last too long and before I know it, it's midnight. The clock strikes twleve and a new day has begun.

It always seemed to short for me. This year I promised myself I would keep that spirit alive--the well wishing and enthusiastic thoughts. And no, I'm not going to keep up the Christmas lights and tree. I'm just going to act like it's still the holiday season. You know, just keep the good feeling going.

I'll blog some more after Jan 1st. I've still got relatives to entertain and friends that have extended their stay till after New Years.

I do miss posting though and reading other posts.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind

I've moved beyond the learning developemental stage of peek-a-boo. Just because something gets hidden, doesn't mean I don' t think it's gone.
I went to Baltimore on Sunday and got back yesterday. So I had very limited internet access--well actually none. My cousin had broadband in her home, but I think because she has children, has put some sort of code on accessing it. Plus I was so busy hanging out that by the time I wasn't hanging out, it was way past midnight.
I went to Baltimore to watch my Godchild in his first play. He was one of the three kings in the story of Jesus. For those of you who think that it is politically incorrect for his kindergarten class to present the birth of Jesus, tough--he goes to a private Catholic school, therefore his class has the right to call the 25th of December, Christmas and to celebrate the holiday accordingly.
Anyway, not here to fight--here to explain my absence. Anthony came up on the stage when the narrator announced that the three kings came to visit the babe in the manager. He scanned the audience, saw us and waved. Many of the other children did the same thing. I find it adorable. I think the teacher/director found it exasperating. You could tell that she had already instructed them not to do so.
After the play, we were treated to a meal at the Rainforest Cafe. Yummy and cool at the same time. The whole restaurant is decorated like an actual forest, complete with thunder and rainstorms. Nice. The aquariums were filled with fish species from the amazon too. The food was great! They have this one dessert called the volcano--undescribable. You've gotta try it.
So that is why I've been absent and haven't been able to read anyone's blog. I'm doing a catch up day today. I'm going to try to read everyone's blog, rather then read cardiology. You can see where my priorities lie right? Actually I'm taking a break from studying, putting it off until Monday the 26th.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Derivatives Of 5

Well, true blue guy tagged me. I don't mind being tagged because it helps me to write. Right now, going thru a dry spell, as far as thoughts go. I guess it's because I have to do so much thinking since relatives and friends began to pour into Charleston for the holidays. I'm pooped!
Anyway, the post was about the number 5.

10 years ago....
10 years ago was the first time I spent New Years away from home. I ended up spending it with my cousin Rene and his girlfriend Malou (she's now his wife). We went up to the roof of our building and watched fireworks.

5 years ago...
I spent my second New Years away from Charleston. My buddy Jeumont and I hung out with the surgical department (the residents) who were stuck at the hospital for the holiday. It was quite boring. Hospitals are no fun on New Years Eve.

Last year...
The holidays was fun! It was the year that all my relatives came into Charleston for Christmas and New Years. Got wasted! This is why I don't remember too many details. I do remember however that my Godson Anthony sang, "This Land is Your Land" when asked to sing a song during our family's talent night on Christmas day. Everyone was expecting a Christmas carol, but he belted out that song. He was four at the time.

My family hosted the prayer for St. Nino (the infant Jesus--Infant of Prague). I lead the prayers, being the oldest child. Of course, my parents ordered more food than necessary. So till Christmas day, when they order more food--we'll be stuffing ourselves with Heavenly Ham stuff, Chinese food and Christmas cookies.

5 Yummy things....
1. Tuna sashimi with more wasabi than necessary.
2. Funyuns
3. Pecan pie
4. boneless buffalo wings at Applebees
5. Ashlee Simpson's cleavage (see Vince's previous posts)

5 Things I Know By Heart
1. The prayer Our Father
2. My family and friend's birthdays
3. The micro organisms that give a patient rashes on the palms and soles
4. Ranson's Criteria for pancreatitis
5. The United States Pledge of Allegiance

5 Things I'd Do If I Had Lots of Money
1. Donate a shitload to St. Jude's Children's Hospital
2. Donate money to the Children's Miracle Network
3. Donate money to the Make A Wish Foundation
4. Create trustfunds for my nephews, nieces and children of my buddies.
5. Have a party and invite the Hoff for Mr. Shifley and Ashlee for Vince, and fly Chairborne Stranger and his buddies back here, even if it were for the day, make sure that Totolehero had a wide range of accounts at various shops (and she woudn't have to feel guilty about shopping).

5 Places to escape to..
I'm thinking this is either places that are real that I have escaped to or that I would like to escape to
1. My childhood bedroom. I think was one of the safest places in the world to be (provided that the closet door was closed or the light in there was on if the door was open). I had Winne-the -Pooh characters on the walls.
2. My Mom's hug
3. I spent 2 months at our summer home in Florida this summer in preparation for my medical boards (which I took on Dec 8th--won't know results for six weeks). I left because I don't like tropical weather and came back to West Virginia, where the weather I think is better.
4. I'd like to have a cabin in the mountains (not sure if this counts as escape or something I would do with money).
5. I would also like to have a yacht to escape to. But I would put it on one of the great lakes, not the ocean because I fear sharks.

5 Things I would never wear...
1. A diaphragm.
2. Anything from Michael Jackson's wardrobe.
3. Gogo boots
4. leather chaps.
5. colored contacts

5 Favorite TV shows
1. Friends
2. Will and Grace
3. South Park
4. Grey's Anatomy
5. Nip/Tuck

5 Things I Enjoy Doing
1. Blogging and reading blogs
2. Playing with my nephews and nieces
3. Reading in general
4. The Sims
5. Driving

Friday, December 16, 2005

It's Just A Fantasy...It's Not the Real Thing...

People either reacted violently or in awe of my taste for snobby chicks. I had written a post and stated a fact about being in love with Blair Warner (a character from televisions now defunct "Facts o f Life"). She was on a sit-com that was kinda like watching those ABC Afterschool Specials, only it was on at night and attempted to be funny. Anyway, I had mentioned that I liked snobby chicks and that Blair was the epitome of my fantasy snob girl. When she wasn't wearing her Eastland boarding school uniform, she was wearing cashmere sweaters and pearls. And she constantly talked about Daddy's money.

Now, I want to clear something up. One of my friends--Babette said, "You are so not into snobby chicks! What the heck? Is there another Angel that I don't know about?!". And I have to say that on some levels she is right. Babette knows me better than I know myself. She could draw you a map to my very soul. I would like to clarify, I'm not into them, I just fantasize about them--like one fantasizes about the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models or the FHM cover girls. It's one of those fantasies that helps me get though a morning shower. But I would never marry one. Lord knows I have enough to do with maintaining myself. I don't think I would want the extra upkeep.

In my undergrad years, there was one sorority at WVU that had the ultimate snobby girls! I swear, everyone of those sorority sisters wore a string of pearls--if I'm not mistaken, one of their symbols was pearls. They were also very well manicured with hair that looked so groomed, clean and sweet smelling. Their fingernails were long, but not too long (good for some back scratching) and they just looked soft. Each one looked like they jumped out of a J Crew catalog. Everyone wanted to date those girls--at least in my circle of friends. In fact a few of my friends dated them and these girls were also a part of my social circle. Many of them played major roles in my fantasies.

I know I won't end up with a snobby girl. I don't want to have to maintain something like that--too much upkeep. You want to buy a Hummer--but can you actually afford the insurance? How about filling up the tank--I mean with gas prices these days. It looks good, drives well and makes you feel manly. But in the end, a more reasonable Volvo will do the job just as well.

To sum up everything, I think Vince said it best:

Snobby bitches (if Angel will allow me to be so blunt):The excitement they garner in us has two sources. One is definitely the whole "challenge" aspect. The other is the complete gratification you expect to feel once you finally get them drunk enough to let you bang the hell out of them, effectively rendering their high horse a low, mountable one.

By the way, if you guys have noticed, I'm using the click/link thing. Thanks to Totolehero, the Duck and Cher for the advice on how to use it. See how that works?

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I Was Tagged Again..Five Things

Cathy tagged me, so in keeping with the game and also because she poured her heart out, here's my heart out on my sleeve. Five things that even some of my friends don't know about me:

1. Religion is a priority in my life. A couple years ago, I thought it was necessary to search out other facets of Christianity and sort-of "left" the Catholic church. I attended other services instead. My mother, being a devout Catholic kept saying over and over again, "Why do you have to go to other churches". So to keep her quiet, I would silently sit in church where she could see me, but attended other services at different times. I realized that all of Christianity is the same, centered around God and Jesus Christ. I "came back" to Catholicism, realizing that I liked the structure and tradition of the faith of the Roman Catholic church.

2. I love the sport tennis. I played the sixth seed on our high school tennis team, even winning the regionals sophmore year. My classmates didn't notice (like I wrote previously, they were busy ignoring me). The next year, I didn't join the team again telling the coach it was because I wanted to focus on my studies. The truth was, I wasn't sure I could become a seeded player again. I also didn't like the other players on the team, preferring to hang out with my friends.

3. I started smoking cigarettes in college because I thought it was a cool thing to do. I don't think I was ever addicted to the nicotine. My roommate Rodney and I smoked these funky cigarettes called "Brights". You could only get them at this little country store near our apartment. I was able to quit successfully several times, without any mood swings or changes. I think that proved I wasn't addicted--each time I quit, it was cold turkey, without the cravings. When fourth year clinicals of medical school started, I probably smoked more cigarettes than ever (I thought it was a relaxant to my STRESS). I think I did it to pass the long nights of duty. I was able to quit cold turkey successfully after the year was over. I also deep down believe that I started again fourth year be cause so many co-fourth years smoked and I wanted to have an excuse to go to the smoke hole and shoot the shit.

4. I wanted to marry Blair Warner (a character on "Facts of Life" played by Lisa Welchel). I thought that Blair was the epitome of what a perfect girlfriend and wife should be. She was always dressed up and in make-up. Plus she was snobby. I am so turned on by a snobby chick.

5. I'm still afraid of the dark at times. I can sleep in the dark, but walking through a dark room or home is a bit scary for me. The movie that sparked renewal in my recent scare of the dark is "White Noise". Now when I fall asleep, I have to make sure that even my iPod is turned off lest someone from beyond use it as a medium to give me a message.

And then, just as I thought I was safe enough to publish this thing this morning...Lee Ann tagged me again with another five things. This time weird habits about ourselves.

1. When I eat Funyuns out of any bag, I try to make sure I eat the unbroken ones first. I'm wondering if that borders OCD.

2. I can't leave my home without spraying some cologne on, even though I bathe twice a day (morning and evening). Can the bathing thing also count as another weird habit?

3. While I study, I have to have a pencil to do make side-notes in my notebook and a red or purple colored pen to underline important words.

4. In the classroom, I have to sit in my specific seat during lecture. On top of that, it throws me off for a good half hour, if a different classmate sits on either side of me. I prefer the classmate that was sitting beside me to remain beside me for the duration of the semester. Usually I've found that other medical students are just as A.D.D. about their seats too, so I never have to deal with a new person.

5. I eat the green or blue Skittles first.

Monday, December 12, 2005

I Double Dare You

Last weekend, I drove up to Columbus, Ohio for my cousin's company party. It's a beautiful drive between Ohio and West Virginia. Well, for the most part it's beautiful, until you get to Ohio and all you see in cornfield or just field.

My cousin works for some sort of computer company that does land and business surveying. They do the layouts for department stores and restaurants and blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH! She lost me after she said computer. In fact, I was lost most of the night when various people told me what they did and what their "contribution" for 2005 had been. I did learn that they reached their "high five for 2005" goals, and the company president was well pleased with his employees. He said between 1998 and 2005 they had gone from being a company of 70 employees to 500. And they went from having one branch to three. He said the employees should be highly commended. I begged to differ with his show of gratitude. First of all, open bar? Not--they were was a two drink limit and then you had to pay. Secondly, what was he feeding them? My cup-o-soup cooking abilities outshines whatever was being served in those bins. Thirdly, as a reward for working there for at least 10 years, employees were rewarded with a pen.

Back to the open bar--I ordered a martini and they served it to me in a small plastic cup (a punch bowl cup replica). Nothing dignified in sipping a martini from a plastic cup. Not that I was trying to be dignified. I already felt like a bafoon from my lack of martini knowledge. When I told the bartender I wanted a martini--shaken not stirred of course, he replied "how do you want it?". I was taken aback and said, "Shaken not stirred". He then said, "Dirty, Up, Down, on the rocks?". I told him to suprise me. WTF? I thought I was an afficianado when it came to martinis.

What is it about company parties that bring out the unthinkable in many of it's employees. For instance, everyone dancing to the Electric Slide? And how has that dance not died out yet? What I noticed was the dance floor being crowded during these line-dances like YMCA or Macarena, but being completely empty during other songs. I came to the conclusion that people of this caliber can't dance unless, like their floppy discs, it's formatted.

To top off the drunken dancing, when we all went out to celebrate the end of the mundane company party, the employees further showed their unthinkable sides. We went to a bar that was playing retro-music (Bon Jovi, extremely early material girl Madonna, Dexy's Midnight Runner) so everyone was having fun dancing. One of the employees, who was trying to pick up my cousin, started danicing with her and I. In his drunken lack of rhythm dancing, he started to spank himself to the music. In an effort to keep from laughing, I turned around. He mistook this for I DON'T KNOW WHAT, but began to spank my ass! Too mortified for words, I excused myself to get a drink.

One of the tasks I completed this weekend was a dare from Eers. She dared us, to walk up to someone, stare at our manparts then look a random chick in the eye and say, "It doesn't suck itself". This task was suppose to be completed last week, but since I hung out with my parents last week couldn't go thru with it. This time however, in a town where I didn't know anyone, no one knew me, it would be perfect. After the company party, I headed out with my cousin and her co-workers to downtown bar. After two shots, I walked up to a girl, a completed the task. Her quick witted response? "No, it doesn't suck itself! It needs the whole package"--said while waving her hand over my whole being. Ouch! Touche! I may have ruined the dare by saying to her that it was a dare, and that I'm not ordinarily like that. She smiled, became pensive, looked into my eyes and said, "I believe you. I don't know why I do, but I do". And then she smiled again before excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

How was your weekend?

Friday, December 09, 2005

A Cop Out

Because my head hurts and I can't think right now...I'm going to post something that my friend Amee Mehta sent. She's also a medical school graduate studying for her boards. But she did have time to send me a great forward...


Everyday, 200 million couples around the world have sex, which is about over 2000 couples at any given moment.
Women are most likely to want to have sex when they are ovulating.
30% of women over the age of 80 still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.
Mosquitoes, which mate in the air perform a sex act that lasts only 2 seconds.
Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than those with only a Bachelor's degree.
Fellatio ranks as the number one sexual act desired by heterosexual men.
Australian women have sex on the first date more than women the same age in the USA and Canada.
It's illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada.
Today, Japan leads the world in condom use. Like cosmetics, they're sold door to door, by women.
More Americans lose their virginity in June than in any other month (must be all those weddings and prom nights).
A man's penis not only shrinks during cold weather but also from nonsexual excitement like when his favorite football team scores a touchdown, etc.
The word 'gymnasium' comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means to exercise naked, which often was done in ancient Greece.
White women and those women with a college degree, when asked said they were more receptive to anal sex than women without college educations.
The first condoms in the US were made from vulcanized rubber in the 1870s. They were expensive and annoyingly thick and meant to be reused.
Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy both the giving and receiving of oral sex than high school dropouts. (Amazing what one learns in college).
About 1% of the adult female population are able to achieve orgasm solely through breast stimulation.
14% of males said that they did not enjoy sex the first time. 60% of women say they did not enjoy sex their first time.

I edited it down a little bit, taking out useless information like the origins of Cupid, something about the word avacado and about the literal translation of some mountaintop out west. Certainly not anything we will need while playing Jeopardy.
I wonder if Avon would consider have a condom line, to be sold by their door to door representatives. I would even let them put a scent on the thing, if that were the case.
And for my next first date, I'm going to Sydney, Australia.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A New Craze

I am all for dieting right now. Since I've had no physical activity, save maybe thirty minute stints on a treadmill here and there, I've gained some weight. In the past I've written about my up and down weight problem. I'm not bullemic (I only throw up when I drink too much tequila) and I'm certainly not anorexic--place a bag of Funyuns or a pecan pie in front of my face and you'll see what the real meaning of feeding frenzy means (a shark's hunger instinct has nothing on me when it comes to those two foods). But I've broken out my winter clothes from last year and they are a bit snug. I tried to blame it on the moths, yes, maybe the moths ate some of the cloth and that is my flannel lined khakis have shrunk. But underneath some of my sweaters, I look much like the Pillsbury dough boy. I'm not ticklish, so poking my stomach won't evoke an eruption of laughter. At least I don't have the flabby manbreasts that I once had--so many eons and pounds ago.

In the past I've tried numerous diets. I've done slim fast. Yuke--it's ground chalk in liquid form. I think of it as colored potting soil with food coloring to appeal to those who think that a brown or pink color makes things taste better. The only thing it did for me was cause massive diarrhea. I think that it just grabbed everything in my intestines and swam for daylight.

My favorite go was the Atkins diet. I lost a humongous amount of freshman weight on this diet--about 35 pounds. But I soon grew tired of hunting and clubbing for my meals. You could eat all you wanted, so long as the food fell in the carnivore category. There is only so much "protein" a guy can take, without getting to eat mashed potatoes, Texas toast or french fries with it.

I haven't gained that much weight. According to my ideal weight, calculated by some formula I learned in medical school, I'm only about 15 pounds overweight. However, on a 5'4" Asian, this little bit shows. We don't have the bone mass or height to hide extra skin. So I've decided to diet again. Nothing drastic, but to cut down on eating altogether--smaller portions and more treadmill.

This controlled portions and eating in moderation makes sense and logically works. The key being you eat when you are hungry, stop when you are full. It's all about moderation. I read this article called: Intuitive Eating on yahoo, which explained eat what you want, but in moderation. Quite simple actually.

As you can see, I still have no idea how to do the magic "links" thing on my blog. Otherwise I would hyper link you to it.One lesson at a time. I just recently learned how to put many of my favorite blogs onto my site. The jist of the article is, this professor says that you can eat anything you want, not deny yourself. But you have to stop when you are full and only eat when you are hungry. You'll lose weight. Duh!

So I guess, according to him, I'm doing the intuitive diet. I'm eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I feel full. I'm just waiting for the professor to come out with a book so I can do it properly and also jump the "intuitive eating" craze.

Monday, December 05, 2005

That's What I Like About You....

One of my friends posted one of those crazy surverys that asked questions about things which really don't teach us anything about the person filling them out. It was much like the one that I posted after getting tagged by the Duck.

She stated that she liked smelling her boyfriend's armpits. I was taken aback a little. But then I realized that many of my friends admitted there was something other than their loved one's smiles, eyes, breasts, ass or other physical features that they liked.

When asked, I tell people that I am attracted a girl's smile and her eyes. It's an acceptable way to say, she has to be attractive. I say this answer when in the presence of the opposite sex. In the locker room, I say that I like cleavage--much like the cleavage of Jennifer Aniston.

I tried to think of something bizarre that I liked. And I thought of it... I like shape of a woman's clavicles. I like the way they look under a silk teddy, or the shape they put to a spagetti stap on a slightly revealing evening gown. Something about bulging clavicles is quite a turn on. Maybe not as scary as the whiff of "pit" scent, but not something ordinary either.

What are some of your turn-ons?

Friday, December 02, 2005

Never Been Kissed

This post is going to be a sharing moment, something my friends have claimed I don't do enough of....It isn't to ilicit sympathy or thoughts of woe. I have a feeling however, my buddies won't let me live this confession down.

I recently donated blood to the American Red Cross. I give whenever I can, which is every three months. My church usually has a drive every three months, so I qualify, stick my arm out and let them drain me of this much needed human commodity.

The place they hold the drive is on the same grounds that I went to school. Yes, I'm the product of a Catholic school upbringing. Light blue oxford shirts with dark blue pants for boys and white oxford shirts with pleated plaid skirts for the girls. Boys walk on one side of the stairwell, girls walk on the other to the lunch room. Prayers were said before class started and at the end of the day. Whenever I pass the school yard on sunday services, the memories overwhelm me like the smell of disinfectant in a hospital hallway.

When it was my turn to lay my arm out--to be poked I heard the children from the school pour out into the yard for recess. The sound of their voices could not subdue my fear of needles. You would think as many times as I've donated, been practiced on by fellow medical students, and had shots that this would be nothing for me. Surprise, I always let out a yelp when I get stuck. And I feel a little lightheaded as I watch the blood drain from my arm into the bag below. Just my blood, makes me feel this way. Watching the other donors get stuck or watching their blood pour forth has no effect on me.

Anyway, when I tilted my head, I saw my nephew Elias pass by the window. He was holding one of those big red balls we use for dodgeball. I thought about a visit with him after they pulled this gi-normous needle from my vein. Then I heard several voices scream out "We're ignoring you, we're ignoring you!" in a taunting tone. My heart slowed, skipped a beat and I'm sure the blood flow stopped. I was thinking, why would someone be mean to Elias.

Like a B-movie flashback, I was once again in the sixth grade. Faces of former classmates circling around me in a kaleidoscope manner, each face blurring with the next. Instead of taunting however, their mouths didn't move. No one was exactly mean to me in grade school. They just didn't know I existed. Just an invisible little boy--with about two, maybe three friends at the most. I hated going to school, not because I didn't want to learn, but because being ignored is worse than being teased. This stayed with me throughout high school. I occasionally got ribbed for one thing or the other, but for the most part remained a faceless, nameless fly on the wall. I observed while everyone else lived what I can only imagine was a life like Brandon and Brenda Walsh. I didn't even know what a high school party was like, until I came home from college one weekend to visit my siblings. They were part of the "in-crowd". They had the parties which destroyed my parents home (thus causing migraines whenever my parents went out of town).

This all changed for me when I went to college. A fresh new start. No one really knew me, save the few people who came from my school. I went from oblivion to something more--had quite a few friends and a few parties which destroyed our apartments--thereby losing our deposits. I went from being introverted to extroverted, speaking up whenever I got the chance, unafraid to tell people what I thought. And my opinion actually mattered to more than just three people.

Flash forward..a woman's voice coming in muffled and then clearly....the nurse told me I was all done. I immediately went to the playground to find Elias. I was going to explain to him that today's shadows are tomorrow's light. However, what I did find was that he was one of the boys taunting someone else. Before I could cut in and save this other child from humiliation, another line of kids cut across me, severing me from the "mean" boys. By the time they disperesed onto the playground, Elias and his friends had gone their separate ways. And because everyone was dressed the same, I couldn't remember which little boy was the outcast.

I was going to pull Elias aside and explain to himthe rule of not being mean. But I know that being disciplined by one of your relatives on the school playground can also cause severe stress. I looked again for the tormented kid. Just a sea of blue and white shirts. I hope when he gets older, he'll realize that the playground is just that, a playground.